Do No Harm
by Aggie Escott
Summary: Aaron/Spence centric. A series of murders in a hospital get the attention of the BAU. Contains whump/mild slash and lots of hurties! Please review, Luvvies. Thanks
1. Hospital Visit

Do No Harm

Chapter 1

Hospital Visit

**_Erma Bombeck said, "Getting out of hospital is alot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it."_**

Aaron sat uncomfortably in the conference room. His back was driving him mad with itching. He knew that this meant that the graft had taken, but he also knew that he shouldn't scratch. The temptation to rub against the back of the chair was too much. He stood and started to walk up and down, hoping that the movement would bring some relief. His arms still ached from the breaks, and he had had to have his hair cut short to disguise the shaved area. He thought mentally he was ready to come back to work. He hoped he was physically.

He flashed a glance at Spencer. As always, he had been there every step of his recovery. Spence caught his eye, and his face creased into a smile. Aaron smiled a tiny smileback, but only Spence could read it.

"So, are these all the victims?" Aaron was studying the list he had been given, and shrugging his shoulders against the infernal itching.

"They are the definite ones. There are about seventy five more suspicious deaths in the last five years. Those names are on the second list, together with reasons why the deaths are suspect. But only those on the first list, from the last eighteen months and who were not cremated, can be confirmed."

"Is there any connection between them?" Reid asked, "Apart from the fact that they were all sick and in hospital."

"There is very little. They weren't under the same consultant, some were medical, some surgical, some terminal, some not. One even died in the emergency room, and she came in with a broken leg. That's number five on the list. She died of heart failure. They all died in different ways. On the list you can see that I've appended cause of death. "

"Are these COD's the same as on the death certificates?" asked Rossi, without looking up.

"No. In most cases the doctor treating the patient was fooled into thinking it was natural causes."

"So why do they need us?" asked Hotch. "Doesn't it sound like 'Angel of Death' syndrome? It has to be someone who works there."

"That's what the police thought, until they checked all the records, and there is no-one at the hospital that could have been responsible for all the deaths. Every possible suspect has been interviewed and eliminated. They had a possible but he died in an RTA. The killings carried on though."

"Do we have the details of the suspect?" asked Emily.

JJ pointed her remote at the screen "This man. sixty three years old Leslie Freeland, worked at the hospital for ten years as a laundryman He died six weeks ago, since which, six more people have died."

"Any family?" asked Morgan.

"A wife. I have an address."

Reid ran his finger down the dates."This seems inconsistent with what we know about serial killers." he said. "Look here, two in a week, then none for a week, then one, then a space of three weeks, during which Freeland was killed. Then five in a week! Then nothing for ten days, then one, yesterday. There is no pattern, no escalation here."

"That certainly looks unusual." said Aaron. "And that merits our assistance." said Aaron. "Ok, team, get your things together, wheels up in fifteen."

* * *

It was a thirty five minute flight. Reid sat alone at one end of the cabin, Aaron sat with the others. After fifteen minutes or so, he crossed the cabin and sat opposite Spence. 

"What is it, Spence? What's worrying you?"

"I've got a couple of issues I need to think through. I was hoping this situation wouldn't come up, but now it has, I need to deal with it."

Aaron reached under the table for Spencer's hand. "Tell me, Spencer."

"An UnSub in a hospital. It's been a while since Philip Dowd, but I still have nightmares about it." Spencer was shaking, remembering his first kill, and how close Aaron had come to being shot. Aaron squeezed his hand.

"I understand, Spence. But I also know that you are a good Agent, and you will always do what is necessary to protect your team members and the public." Aaron said, looking deep into Spencer's eyes. "I have no qualms about trusting you with my life. I know you can do this, Spence."

Spencer hung onto Aaron's hand.

"We're landing in ten, Spence. Take those minutes to think about what I've said. You'll be fine."

Aaron left him and returned to the others. He got questioning looks of several members. They could be in a position where they needed to rely on Reid. They needed to be assured that he could be counted on in a crisis.

"He's fine." was all Aaron needed to say. His colleagues relaxed, and carried on chatting.

* * *

They were met at the airport by an SUV driven by a receptionist. 

"I'm Judy Woods. Sergeant Mallory sends his apologies, Sir," she said, shaking their hands in turn. "He is snowed under by yesterdays killing, and he just got word of a possible new on as I was leaving."

"Not a problem." said Aaron. "If we could get started straight away..."

Woods drove the team to the HQ and led them to the Mallory's office. Aaron extended a hand. "If you could give us some office space to work in, Agent Jareau can set up while we gather some data."

JJ went off with Woods to a spare office. Morgan and Rossi went with her to work on Victimology with Garcia. Hotch went to the hospital to see the Consultants involved, while Emily and Spencer visited Mary Freeland, the wife of Leslie.

* * *

Mary appeared to be a lot older than her late husband, probably in her late seventies. Emily and Spencer were shown into a sitting room that seemed to be bursting at the seams with doilies and lace. It was difficult to know where to sit. She indicated two arm chairs for them Emily moved an armful of knitted dolls and sat down. Reid remained standing. He felt he could think better standing up. That and he was still a bit nervous about the case. He stood behind Emily, gripping the back of her chair. He left her to do the talking. 

"WE are so sorry for your loss, Mrs Freeland." began Emily. She and Reid were both surprised by her response.

"Well I'm not, so don't waste your sympathy." she snapped. "Miserable man he was. I'm glad he's gone. The last few years were horrible!"

"How was that?"

"He totally changed. He became snappy and unpleasant. Nothing was ever right for him. I would have probably killed him myself if he hadn't had the crash. Right up until the last month or so. He got a little better then. But the damage was done. Good riddance is what I say."

When Prentiss left, they didn't speak until they were in the car and driving away.

"And she accused him of being miserable!" said Reid.

Emily laughed. "Sounds like they deserved each other!" she said.

"It was interesting though, that she said he changed in the last month." said Reid. "That could be significant."

* * *

They had arranged to meet Hotch at the hospital. There were four consultants to see, and Hotch didn't know how long each would take. They met him in the dining room. They bought sandwiches and coffee and joined him at a table. 

"Well, we've had an interesting time." said Emily. "Seems that she's not exactly upset about losing her husband."

"She said he had been miserable and difficult for quite a few years, up until a few weeks ago, when he 'got a little better'." Reid said. "She even said she would probably have killed him herself had he not had the accident!"

"Did she indeed?" said Hotch, clearly interested.

"Are there any more Consultants to see?" asked Emily.

"I've managed to see three of the four." said Hotch. "The fourth isn't in until two." He glanced at his watch. "Half an hour."

They all three jumped, as a bell began clanging. Someone in a security uniform ran into the room.

"That is the fire bell." he announced. "If you would please leave in an orderly fashion, everyone will be ok."

Hotch went to the man and showed him his ID. "We will help you clear the room, if you wish."

The man nodded briefly, and began to round up the people. One of the diners, a visitor, was in a panic. Emily went to her, and gently led her out.

Reid and Hotch helped the security guard to clear the room. The clanging was giving Aaron a headache.

_Itchy back, headache, __arms__ hurting...maybe I shouldn't be at work yet._

As the two agents followed the group down the stairs and into a corridor, some others joined them, including several nurses with patients. Smoke started to filter along the ceiling. Hotch began to cough. He was still bruised and sore from being hit across the throat.

As they passed a door at the end of the corridor, next to the exit, Reid stopped.

"I heard a door slam through there." he said to Hotch.

"Do you think there's someone in there?" Hotch said, his eyes now watering.

"There could be. Should we check?"

Hotch caught the attention of one of the nurses.

"What's through there?" He was coughing harshly now. He really needed to get some fresh air. He seemed to be the only one affected yet.

"That leads to the basement. No-one works down there." She rushed off, leading her patient outside into the fresh air. Hotch watched her wistfully.

"Reid, you and I will check it out. If there is someone down there, they may not have heard the alarm."

Hand over his mouth and nose, he opened the door. He started down the concrete stairs into the basement with Reid following. There was no smoke down here, and Hotch's coughing began to ease. Reid put his hand on Aaron's shoulder.

"Are you ok, Aaron?"

Before he could answer, something exploded. The door behind them blew inwards with a burst of flame and threw the two men down the rest of the steps into the basement. Concrete and debris rained down on the two men, as they came to a stop against a metal construct bolted to the floor. As the dust settled, neither man moved.


	2. Crush

Chapter 2

Crush

_**George Orwell wrote, "But the thing that I saw in your face no power can disinherit: No **__**bomb**__** that ever burst shatters the crystal spirit."**_

Spencer slowly began to be aware of his surroundings as one by one his senses kicked in.

He could hear something.

Breathing. His own rasping breath from dust filled lungs. He coughed to clear his throat and spat concrete dust from his mouth.

The dust tasted bloody, and that was when he felt the cut on the inside of his lip where his teeth had bitten. One of his arms was trapped under lumps of concrete. He wiggled his fingers and was glad to feel them move. The other hand was free, and he wiped his eyes.

Something was across his legs, holding them down.

"Aaron? Aaron...can you hear me?"

There was no answer in the silence. He shouted for help, but he didn't expect to be heard. The hospital had been evacuated.

They were on their own.

Spencer was on his front. He lifted himself as much as he could, and looked around. The lights were off, and there was no illumination coming through the pile of rubble that had recently been the stairs. He reached out with his hand to find Hotch.

He felt a sticky pool of blood.

"Aaron! Where are you?"

Feeling a panic rise, he lay still and concentrated on breathing. He needed to control the panic. Aaron needed him.

What had happened? An explosion of some kind.

A bomb? Possibly.

Did anyone know they were down here?

Was there a fire above?

Where was Aaron?

He turned onto his side and faced the pile that was trapping his right arm. He tried to wriggle it free, but there was something digging into his flesh. The only way to free his arm was to lever the weight off it.

He felt around for something to use. A length of metal, probably reinforcement of some kind. He wedged it in a gap above his arm, and levered it over another piece of brickwork.

He hoped that it would not dislodge the whole lot onto him. Eyes closed, and head down, he pulled down on the lever with his free hand. Dust billowed from between the masonry, and quickly, he slid his arm out. Very carefully, he lowered the lever.

Nothing fell on him. He sighed with relief.

He inspected his recently trapped arm. There was a puncture wound on his inner forearm where he had tried to pull against what ever it was digging into him. It wasn't bleeding too much, and the bones were intact

His legs were still trapped, but now he could push himself up and try to find Aaron.

He pushed onto his elbows, then onto his hands. His eyes were getting used to the faint light now. He looked around for his friend.

He saw the blood that he had felt earlier. Then he saw a hand in the blood.

Aaron was lying in a pool of his blood. He was covered in debris. Spencer couldn't see him.

Only his hand.

Spencer panicked. He tugged at his legs to get free. He screamed and fought.

_Get a hold of yourself, Spencer. You won't get out like that. Think man. Think!_

He lay back down flat again. One leg at a time, he twisted and squirmed until one leg was coming free. The other leg hurt. When he tried to move it, he felt bones grinding. A wave of nausea swept through him. He stopped moving for a moment as the feeling passed. Somehow he had to get the leg out.

Carefully he examined what was holding it. He pulled across the metal bar he had used to free his arm, and tried again.

This time some of the rubble on the top was dislodged. He wrapped his arms around his head to protect himself as masonry and dust fell. Some hit his back and his arms. It seemed to go on for an eternity. When at last it stopped falling, he pushed the rubble off his back, and tried again. Holding down the lever with one hand he quickly dragged out the leg with his other. He heard himself scream as bones cut flesh and tore things they never should. Tears of pain streaked his dirty face and he cried out in agony.

He checked the leg. It was obviously broken. There was a lump half way down his shin. He gingerly touched it and pain shot through him like an electric shock. He let out a moan and screwed his eyes up.

Aaron!

This was bad. He pulled himself across to where Aaron's hand was lying in the blood. He took the hand in his. To his utmost relief, Aaron's fingers slowly bent around his.

"I'm going to get you out, Babe!" Spencer said, and Aaron's hand twitched. "Just hold on."

Spencer pulled himself up into a kneeling position. The pain was excruciating, but he had to reach the lumps of masonry that was holding Aaron.

He pulled out one piece. He felt the jagged edges cut into his palm. Ignoring the pain, he pulled out another, throwing it to one side. All the time, he was speaking to Aaron, adrenalin giving him strength he never knew he had.

"I'll get you out, Aaron...just hang on..."

Breathing in dust and grit, leaving bloody hand prints on the concrete lumps that had once formed the stairway, his one thought was of Aaron.

* * *

Aaron lay face down in blackness. He couldn't move or turn his head. There was a heavy weight on his back and legs. He was feeling wetness around him and he could smell his own blood, and feel many places he could be bleeding from. One hand was free, he could feel blood around it. He tried to call. He was frightened for Spencer. He needed to see if he was ok. He wanted to cough, but his breathing was restricted by the weight on his back and he couldn't take enough air in to cough.

He heard Spencer calling him. Desperately he tried to call him back, but the only sound to leave his lips was a trembling whimper.

Spence was ok.

He could hear Spence calling out to him.

He heard Spencer scream.

_Spence! I want to help you. I can hear you, but I can't move. Sweetheart, please be ok..._

He tried again to call out to Spence. He tried to move but the pain stripped him of the ability to think. He knew his newly healed ribs were smashed again, blood was in his mouth, and his lungs had little space to move. His determination not to die kept them sucking in what little air they could. He spat out blood and grit and tried to lay still. He opened his eyes, but all there was only blackness. The dust was irritating them, but he couldn't rub them. He blinked hard, making tears flow to wash them clean.

Lack of oxygen was making him light headed and nauseous. He longed to take a deep breath, and his body was starting to go into spasms as his body screamed for oxygen.

So he just lay there, as still as he could, his every sense feeling crushing pain. He tried not to faint as he clung onto life, thinking of Spencer.

A hand touching his!

Spencer's hand!

With all his strength he curled his fingers around the hand that was holding his. He could feel his tendons contracting, and even that hurt.

_You're alive, Spence. Get out before anything else falls. Just go!..._

He knew in his heart that Spencer would never leave him.

"I'm going to get you out, Babe! Just hold on."

He tried to squeeze Spence's hand. He couldn't take the pain any more, and he passed out into pain free blackness.


	3. Digging

Chapter 3

Digging

"_**I've got a great ambition to die of **__**exhaustion**__** rather than boredom.**__**"-Thomas Carlyle**_

Spencer had been trying to dig Aaron out with his bare hands and now his hands were so sore he could hardly touch the stones. The cuts on his palms were embedded with grit and dust, and dried blood. He sobbed in pain as he continued pulling at the fallen masonry. Every now and again, he crawled back to Aaron's hand and held it, but he no longer got the responding movement.

_Oh please, don't let me be too late..._

Tears cut through the dust on his face; sweat and blood from the many cuts and scrapes on his face and head ran in his eyes All his body wanted to do was lay down and cry, but he had to get Aaron out.

The pile was getting smaller, and he hoped, maybe, the weight on Aaron was lighter."

"Aaron, Babe, I'm getting down to you. Can you breathe better now? Please, if you can, please speak to me..."

Nothing.

He pulled at another lump of concrete, more skin cells were ripped from his hands. The blood was now dripping off his fingers, running down his wrists.

He paused, and looked through the gaps in the concrete. He thought he could see something, and he reached down between the masonry, through a tiny gap. He stretched bloody fingers, and touched Aaron's hair. It hit him like a shock wave.

"Aaron! I am almost there! I can touch you!"

With renewed strength, he tore at the brickwork, throwing blocks of concrete aside to get to his lover lying crushed beneath. As more of Aaron's body was uncovered, Spencer's heart began to sink. There was no movement from him, no signs of life.

Again, Spencer felt the rising panic that he had lost him. The fear, the pain, and the sheer exhaustion got too much, and tears sprang from his eyes, and the heaving sobs that had been threatening to overcome him finally did. He pulled blocks and concrete off Aaron, his head and body were free. Spencer crawled through the dust and debris to reach him. He touched his face with bleeding hands.

Aaron was lying in thick brown mud made of brick and concrete dust and his blood.

"Aaron, I'm here. You are almost out." He stroked the man's face, ran his hand across his hair, and touched his dry bloodstained lips. His lips were blue tinged; he wasn't breathing, but he had a pulse, thready and intermittent. Spencer didn't dare move him. Now the weight was off his back, Spencer lay down next to him, and with one hand held his nose, and with the other opened his mouth.

Spencer sealed his lips over Aarons, and breathed to inflate his lungs. He watched Aaron's chest rise and fall. Spencer breathed again...and again...and at last, Aaron took a breath on his own.

Spence didn't want to move away. Their lips were together, Spencer kissed him softly. He tilted Aaron's head down and kissed his eyelids. He tasted Aaron's salty tears, and his own fell.

"Aaron, Babe, can you move?"

Aaron lifted a shaking hand to Spencer's face. He took the hand in both his, and pressed it against his skin.

"Now, Aaron. Keep breathing, I am going to dig you out."

From his hips down, he was pinned fast. The hand that Spencer had held was the other side of a girder that had fallen from the ceiling, and the girder ran at an angle across his hips, and legs. Spencer looked in dismay. He was never going to be able to move that. The only way would be to dig under him. Spence looked at what he was lying on. The floor of the basement was concrete.

He checked the girder. One end was directly on the floor. He reached across Aaron's body to where he had been trapped earlier. He pulled over the metal bar that he had used as a lever. As he did so, his broken leg jolted, and Spencer yelped at the sudden movement. He bit his lip hard until he tasted blood. He couldn't afford to pass out.

Spencer rolled onto his back, and tried to get his breath back. His leg and hands were each vying to make him faint with pain. It seemed to hit like waves radiating from the damaged area. He bit his already bleeding lip. He could not black out. If he did, Aaron could die. And he was so close to freeing him. He was so exhausted, he could hardly move. As he lay, trying to breathe, Aaron reached out his hand and touched him. That was all the encouragement he needed. He put the bar under the girder, rested it on a concrete block, and leaned down with all his strength. The girder moved a couple of inches, and Aaron moaned softly as it shifted. With his good foot, Spencer pushed pieces of masonry in the gap.

He checked Aaron's hips. The girder was still pressing down. He needed to try again. As he started to position the lever, Aaron reached out and grasped his arm. Spence saw that his lips were moving and he was trying to speak.

Spencer crawled back to him. "What is it, Babe?"

"Get...out...p-please..."

"Aaron! You know I can't do that!" Spencer held Aaron's hand and rested it against his cheek. "I won't leave here without you, Love. Don't even think it!"

Gently, Spencer laid Aaron's hand down and crawled back to the lever he had made."Just a little higher, Babe, and you'll be free."

This time the girder moved a bit more. It lifted about six inches, and again, Spencer pushed a brick under it. Aaron screamed the weight was moved from his crushed pelvis. His fist clenched in agony, Aaron's body squirmed, his head thrown back, tears of pain washing his dusty face.

Blood was seeping from under his body; more freely now that the pressure was off. Spencer had to work quickly, or he would bleed out.

"Oh god, Aaron..." Spencer reached for him, and carefully put his arms around him. He held his shaking body close. "I'm so sorry that hurt, Babe."

Spencer held the back of Aaron's head, pushing long fingers through his short dusty hair. He pressed his face against his own and kissed the top of his head.

"Aaron, Babe, I need to move you. The girder could fall again. I'm sorry, it will hurt."

Spencer looked round for something to immobilise Aaron's shattered body. He took the lever he had been using, and found another. He laid each on either side of Aaron, and then he removed his shirt, ripping it into bandages. Oh so carefully, Spencer wound the bandages around Aaron, binding the metal rods to him. All the time, Aaron whimpered in agony, Spencer spoke soft encouraging words to him. He pulled Aaron's other arm out from under the girder.

"Babe, I'm going to pull you out, now. I am so sorry that this is hurting you. I have to move you, Love."

Aaron opened his eyes and for a moment, their eyes met. They clasped hands, and Spence said,

"You ready?"

Aaron nodded. Spencer crawled to Aaron's head, lifted him under his arms and pulled. Aaron bit his lip trying not to scream, but he did anyway.

Then the scream faded into sobbing. Aaron's whole existence was pain: his chest, his hips, his legs, it seemed every part of him was broken.

When Aaron was clear, Spencer very carefully turned him onto his back. He was bleeding from a deep cut across the top of his leg, his clothes ripped, and blood was running freely. Spencer took what was left of his shirt, and made a bandage. It wasn't arterial, but the wound was deep and Spencer had to stop the bleeding.

He rested Aaron's head in his lap. He stroked hiss bloody face, combed his fingers through his hair. Aaron's deep dark eyes looked into Spencer's soft hazel eyes, just for a moment.

"Hurts...be...s-sick..."

Spencer tilted Aaron's head, and held him while he threw up into the dust and debris that was covering everything. He tenderly touched and held him, waiting for the paroxysm to end. Aaron's chest heaved and he retched and coughed.

When at last it was over, Aaron fell limp in Spencer's arms. His eye half closed, he fainted on Spencer's lap. Spencer leaned sideways onto a pile of masonry, and started to cry. The pain in his leg was spreading throughout his trembling body, his hands were stiff and so sore. He had absolutely no idea what he was going to do now. The so called genius brain of his had shut down, and he couldn't think. So he sat there in the dirt with his critically injured lover, unable to move or do anything, pain racking his body, and he cried.

The voice behind him was so unexpected, he jumped.

"Well, you got him out. Didn't think you would!"


	4. The Man

Chapter 4

The Man

_**C. S. Lewis asked, "**__**Why love if losing hurts so much?"**_

Emily looked round for Reid and Hotch. The people from the dining room were out, and the security guard, but she couldn't see her colleagues. She went over to the security guard.

"Excuse me, but I am looking for the two FBI agents that were with me. Do you know where they are?"

"No idea, miss. They were with us when we left the dining room. They were at the back, but I don't know where they went when we got out."

"Thank you." Emily sighed, annoyed. They were supposed to meet up, to get back to the PD. Reid had the keys to the SUV so she had to wait for him. She took out her mobile and called him, but it went straight to answer phone.

"Reid, where are you? I need to get back to work!"

She called Hotch. Same result, she left the same message. She watched the emergency services tackle the blaze. There had been a few explosions, where gas cylinders had gone up, and it looked from there as if the hospital was a write off. The patients had been ferried to other hospitals. She looked at her watch. Maybe Reid had gone back with Hotch. She was more annoyed now. She called the PD and asked for a pick up.

* * *

Spencer stared at the man.

"Why didn't you help? He could die!"

He ignored what Spencer said. "This is an unexpected bonus, having you down here." He grinned nastily. "So this is Agent Aaron Hotchner, is it? Perfect. Perfect."

"What do you mean, 'perfect'?"

He turned and walked away toward the shadows.

"Hey! Come back! Help us!"

The man had gone, Spencer stared after him, confused. How did he know Aaron? He knew his name, and that he was an agent. He tried to get his brain working, but he couldn't think past the pain.

He needed to splint his leg. There was some wood, it looked like a piece of door frame, but he had nothing to tie it with. He took off his shoes and socks, and put his shoes back on. Wincing in pain, he tied the wood to his leg with the socks. That would have to do until he could find something better.

He felt Aaron move his head, moaning softly.

"Aaron!"

He lifted his hands toward Spence, he was opening his eyes.

"Sweetheart...wh-what's...happening?"

"We are still down in the basement. There's someone else down here."

Aaron tilted his head back, trying to focus on Spencer. "S-someone else?...Hurt?..."

"No. Not hurt." said Spence. "I don't understand, he knows who you are, and said 'So this is Agent Aaron Hotchner, is it? Perfect.'. Then he left."

"You s-said you...heard some...one d-down here." Aaron was struggling to breathe again. Spencer put his hands on his face.

"Shh, Babe. It's ok." He caressed Aaron's damp gritty cheek. "He's left us. Just try to relax, and help will be here soon."

Aaron gripped Spencer's hands. His breathing was sharp and rough, and with each breath, he whimpered, each breath hurt. He felt panicky, and he started to hyperventilate.

"Ah...Spence...help me...c-can't brea...the...oh help!"

Spencer recognised the signs; he'd been there himself so often.

"It's ok, Babe. You can breathe. "Spencer touched his face and tried to soothe him. Aaron got control again, and closed his eyes.

"Need...to...s-sleep."

Spencer didn't want Aaron to sleep. He was afraid that he could slip into a coma, after a head injury, but Aaron was already asleep, and Spencer didn't want to waken him to the pain he was so obviously in.

"Ok, My Babe, you sleep. I am going to find this man." He carefully slipped Aaron's jacket down off his arms, and folded it up and put it under his head.

"I won't leave you for long, I promise." He bent down and kissed the sleeping man, and looked around for something he could use to walk with. Having the splint on his leg helped, but the pain shot up his leg into his body.

There was another length of wood, part of the door, that he could see. He pulled himself over to it using the wreckage around him. He leaned down and retrieved the wood. It was a bit too long, but it would do. He put the smoothest end under his arm, and leaned on it. Yes, it would help. Keeping his broken leg bent, he hobbled slowly in the direction that the man had gone. The damage caused by the explosion was localised. A few feet, and there was no damage. He peered into the darkness.

"Hello! Please, can you help us? Is there another way out of here?"

He limped slowly, trying to keep his bearings. "Can you hear me? Hello! Please, show yourself!"

"There's no other way out for you, now."

Spencer turned as quickly as he was able. The man was standing at the edge of the shadows.

"There used to be, but I blew that up as well."

"But why? Don't you want to get out?"

"Oh I can get out. It's you who can't."

"What do you...hey, don't go again!"

Spencer leaned against the wall, at a total loss. He needed to find a way out, but it was like a maze down here. He had seen places like this on TV shows, but he hadn't thought that they really existed. He didn't want to get lost, he needed to find his way back to Aaron.

_I'll just search for a little longer, then I'll go back and check on him_

He had staggered the width of the basement, and he came to the remains of the second staircase. There was no chance of escape from there. With a sigh, he turned to make his way back. Something caught his eye in a small alcove, behind what was the staircase. He picked his way with care across the fallen debris.

It was a small living area. A camp bed, chair, and table. there was a lamp, and a small pile of books. A box contained some empty food tins.

The man, whoever he was, had been living down here. He wondered if he could get Aaron onto the bed. He could at least take the blanket for him.

There were two blankets, and Spencer took them both. One he wrapped around the top of the wood that was starting to cut into the skin under his arm. The other he carried with him, to wrap around Aaron.

The trip back seemed to take longer. Probably because he was tired. His leg was aching now because it had been bent for so long, and blood was sticking his hand to the wood. He was starting to cry with frustration and anger.

"This damned leg!" he yelled. "Why did that have to happen?"

He couldn't rest here though. When he got back to Aaron, then he could rest.

He forced his body to do what it didn't want to do, back the way he had come. He would be able to make Aaron more comfortable, keep him warm, until they were rescued. Emily would know where they were. They'd be out soon.

Aaron's scream shattered the air. A long drawn out cry. Then cries of pain, cries tinged with fear.

"Aaron! I'm coming!" Spencer wanted to run, but he could only drag himself along, and so slowly. Frustration was making him careless, and he hit his broken leg on a metal electric terminal box. He yelped, and fell onto his hands and knees.

"Oh Aaron! Oh god that hurts!" Spencer didn't know what to do with himself. He was in agony as he rolled onto his back. He wanted to clutch at his leg, but the thought of touching it made him nauseous.

"I'm coming...oh I can't Aaron! I can't!"

That was when Aaron screamed again. He knew then that he had to make it back. He abandoned the length of wood, and crawled back towards his man. As he got closer, he could hear him moaning softly.

"Hold on, Babe. I'll be there in a moment!"

"Spence...help..." Aaron's words were cut off in an anguished cry. Then Spencer saw him.

The man was sitting astride him, across his crushed hips, holding both his hands above his head. In the other hand he held a syringe against Aaron's neck. Aaron looked towards Spencer with wide pain filled frightened eyes.

"Stay back, Sweetheart..." He stopped speaking as the man cruelly kicked his leg. Silent tears ran off his face into the dust.


	5. Underground

Chapter 5

Underground

_**François de la Rochefoucauld wrote, "It may well be that those who have **__**trapped**__** us by their tricks do not seem to us so foolish as we seem to ourselves when **__**trapped**__** by the tricks of others.**_"

"Thay're not back?" Emily was worried now. "So where are they?"

Morgan took out his mobile. "I've called them both, both phones go straight to answer-phone. " she said. Morgan put the phone away again. "I've left massages."

"You didn't see them after the fire?" asked Rossi.

"The security guard says they followed him out." Emily was pacing the small office. "I didn't see them. We got separated in the panic." A rush of fear ran trough her. "Oh no! What if they got cut off by the fire! They could still be in there!"

She hadn't finished speaking, when Morgan already had his mobile out again.

"Hello...This is Agent Derek Morgan of the FBI. We have reason to think that two of out agents could be trapped in the hospital...Yes...Ok, thank you."

He snapped the phone shut, and looked round at his colleagues. He rubbed the back of his neck. "The walls and the roof of the building have collapsed. If there was anyone left inside, they...uh..." Morgan could not bring him to say the words.

Emily's hand went to her face, her eyes wide with horror. Rossi leaned on the table, and looked at the floor. No-one spoke.

* * *

"Please, get off him. You are hurting him!" Spencer looked at the syringe pressing against Aaron's neck. "Please, don't hurt him!"

Spencer could see that Aaron's body was shaking. He had his head to the side, and was looking at Spencer, dark expressive eyes wide and running with tears. Spencer could hear his ragged and pain filled breathing.

He pulled his gun from his belt, but his hands were numb and slippery with clotting blood. He couldn't grip on his gun with his cut and bleeding hands. The gun clattered to the floor; Spencer watched it slide away uselessly.

Without saying a word, and without moving the syringe from Aaron's neck, the man stood up and stepped off him. Aaron whimpered in agony, and closed his eyes. Spencer began to move towards him.

"He said, 'stay back'. You should listen to him."

"What are you doing to him?" Spencer desperately asked. "Why are you hurting him? What do you want?"

The man said nothing. He stood beside Aaron, and pulled him up, making him stand. Aaron's face contorted in pain, tears pressed from between closed lids, a small cry passed his lips. As the man wrapped an arm around his bruised chest, Spencer saw Aaron fall forward limply against him. The man stepped backwards, dragging Aaron's comatose body after him.

Spencer struggled after him. "What do you want?" he shouted, "You're hurting him!"

"I have what I want." was all he said.

Spencer sat exhausted, leaning against the wall, closed his eyes and tried to think.  
If this man had meant to kill them, he would have done that already. He and Aaron were easy targets. So why did he take Aaron away? He had something else planned. He didn't use the syringe. Was that just a threat, or was he planning to use it later? Was this man the UnSub? Very likely he was, so he had killed before. If this man had meant to kill them, he would have done so...  
Spencer's thoughts were going round in circles. He pressed his fists into his eye sockets. He would have to follow him, try to talk to him. Painfully he dragged himself back to the wooden stake he was using as a crutch, pulled himself up, and using every fibre of strength, slowly followed them.

* * *

Rossi, Prentiss and Morgan were on their way back to the hospital. They could see the pall of the smoke in the sky. Emily felt a knot of fear in the pit of her stomach. Ever since she had admitted to Hotch about her feelings for Reid, those feelings got stronger all the time. She knew Reid was lost to her, she kept the feelings 'compartmentalised', but all the same, she hurt when he hurt. And she was hurting now. She was glad he had Hotch with him and he wasn't alone. Unless...

Rossi was talking about the case. He was either totally unfeeling, or he was trying to occupy their minds. At one time, when he first started, she would have said it was the former. Now she was certain it was the latter

"So let's hear what we've got then." Rossi was saying.

"I can find no connection between the known victims." Morgan said. "They appear to be totally random. Of course, they're not, though. There's always a connection."

"Sometimes, the connection is only in the UnSub's mind." said Emily, snapping back, in full attention.

"The fire at the hospital has made our job harder." said Rossi. "If the UnSub is a worker, he or she could be anywhere now."

"The workers are either being re-assigned, or given the option of early retirement." said Morgan. "As soon as it's clear who's doing what, I'll get a list."

"In the meantime," Emily said, "I'll put the other hospitals on notice as to what has been happening."

Rossi's hands were white on the steering wheel as they pulled into the hospital grounds. "So we've got no further along than when we arrived here."

One Fire Service truck was still attending, dampening down the ruins of the building. There was nothing left to say that it had been a hospital, and certainly, if their friends had been inside when the building finally collapsed, there was no chance that they would have survived. Emily felt sick. Surely not! Not after everything they'd been through, they should die like this? She wanted to hang onto someone and cry, but she maintained her professionalism that she so jealously guarded.

The three of them stared at the blackened ruins.

"Why did we come here?" Morgan said, voicing the thoughts of the other two. Rossi slowly walked to the fire truck, and spoke to the chief.

"How long before we know if there are any bodies in there?" he asked. He felt his voice shaking.

"We've got to make it safe before we can do that." he answered. "We will have to clear the site. It could take several days before we can even begin to look. It could be a week or more before we know for certain."

"Thank you."

"Was there someone still in there?" the chief asked.

"Two of our men are missing." Rossi said, sadness in his voice. "We hope they weren't in there."

The chief said, "Can I have your card? I'll call you if..."

Rossi handed the chief his card and walked away sadly.

* * *

Aaron became aware that he was being moved. His feet were being dragged across the floor, someone was holding him round the chest and pulling him backwards. Not Spencer. Spencer would make sure he didn't hurt him. Whoever this was had no such reservations. His legs repeatedly hit against things, twisting his femurs in broken hip sockets

He tried to think what had happened.

An explosion...someone with a syringe...

Aaron lifted his hands to those of whoever was dragging him.

"Ahh! You're awake!" someone said. "Not far now, and I'll explain what's happening to you. I never send anyone away without explaining first. I am not heartless, you know."

Aaron tried to pry the man's hands apart but even as he did it, he realised that it was a waste of time and strength. He couldn't go anywhere. He guessed his gun would be gone, and feeling his holster, he was right. He wasn't sure about the ankle holster, but he doubted he would be able to reach it anyway. He bit down on his lip to stop him screaming out as his legs moved against his hips. Small sounds escaped his dry cracked lips as each separate nerve fired in his brain. Light headed again, with pain, fear, and thirst, he hoped the torture would end soon.

He was suddenly picked up bodily and dumped roughly on a canvas camp bed. This time, the scream was ripped from him as pain exploded through his body. His hands flew to his head and he pulled at his hair. His legs went into a spasm and then it was too much, and with a whimper, he passed out.


	6. Missing In Action

Chapter 6

Missing In Action

_**A war widow said, "When the telegram arrived, and said 'Missing in Action' none of us would actually believe that our men had died. We clung to that hope. Some of us never let go of it"**_

The man sat on his chair in the corner of the basement with the table lamp on. He was eating baked beans out of a tin with a wooden spoon, and between mouthfuls, he was chatting to the unconscious Aaron, lying on the bed where he had been put a while before. Aaron hadn't moved. He was lying with his arms hanging over the sides of the bed, his head resting on the bar along the side. His legs and hips were still immobilised, but he wasn't lying straight; He was twisted at the waist. His breathing was shallow and jagged, and his lips were turning blue. The man didn't notice though, although he looked at him while he chatted.

"...and then that bitch wife cut his brake cables, so here am I finishing off his work." He smiled happily at the motionless agent. "But there's so much to do."

He tossed the empty can into the box and licked the spoon clean. He put the spoon carefully on the table and opened a tin of cola.

"You know, I really should get me a fridge. This drink is a bit warm...Oh hello! Nice of you to join us!"

Spencer was leaning against a wall breathing heavily. The sweat on his face stung his scraped skin, and his leg was throbbing in time with his heart beat. He wiped the sweat and dirt from his eyes.

"What have you done?" Spencer said, unable to take his eyes off Hotch.

"Oh! He's gone to sleep. I want to as well." He grinned at Spencer. "Care to sit down? My name's Corbin by the way. Conrad Corbin. But you can call me Conny. All my friends do. At least, Les did." 

Conny jumped off the chair. "Here, sit down."

"I'll stand, if you..." 

"I said, sit!" Conny had Aaron's gun in his hand, and was waving it vaguely in Spencer's direction. Then he quickly swung round and pointed it at Hotch.

"Ok, I'll sit down!" Spencer hobbled to the chair. "Only don't hurt him. Please."

Spencer sat on the chair. Straight away he felt vulnerable, and he wanted to stand back up. Conny kicked the wooden crutch out of his reach.

"Lookie here what I've got!" He waved a handful of half inch cable ties in front of Spencer. He casually rested the gun on Spencer's shoulder. 

"Hands behind you, please, or I drill a hole in your neck." All the time Conny spoke as if he was asking if he wanted sugar in his coffee. Spencer put his hands behind his back. Conny cable tied his 

wrists onto a pipe that ran along the wall. Then he took the blanket that Spencer had been using to protect his bare skin.

He went back to Hotch, who still hadn't moved. For a moment, Spence thought he was going to cover Aaron, but instead, he took hold of Aaron's arms and tied them together in front of him. Aaron moaned and twitched as his body was moved.

"Please, Conny, please leave him alone. He is so badly hurt." Spencer pulled at the ties, hoping that the pipe was loose, but it didn't move even a tiny bit.

"I can't leave him! He's on my bed!" Conny took hold of the edge of the bed, and tipped it. 

Spencer shouted, "No!"

Aaron rolled helplessly onto the floor. He cried out as his forehead cracked on the concrete floor, and he rolled onto his side. He was facing Spencer, and their eyes met. Spencer's tears rolled down his cheeks, and he watched as Aaron's eyes started losing focus.

"Aaron, please, Love..."

A vicious punch to the side of his head knocked him into oblivion.

"I don't want you talking all night. I've got to get my sleep, or I'll be in such a mood in the morning!"

Aaron lowered his eyes from Spencer and rested his head on the floor. He couldn't see the man now, he was behind him. And he didn't have the strength to turn his head. He was sure he was going to be assaulted, so he braced himself. But nothing happened. He heard the creaking of the bed as Conny got comfortable with the blanket, and the light was switched off.

"Good night you two!"

"You won't be any use to anyone, Emily, if you don't get some sleep!" JJ was lying down in her bed in the hotel room watching Emily pace.

"How can I sleep?" Emily said, not quite shouting, but almost. "I can't possibly sleep while two of my friends are missing!" She dragged a tissue out of the box on the table and wiped her eyes angrily. "What if they're..."

"Emily, stop it." JJ got out of the bed and sat Emily down, and sat next to her on the bed. She put her arms round her, and hugged her. She felt the warmth of Emily's tears soak through her night dress, and it made her cry too. The two women sat there for a while, crying for their lost colleagues. Then Emily pulled away. She needed to confide, before the feelings inside her drove her mad. JJ held her at arms length, tilting her head to the side.

"What is it Em? It's Reid, isn't it?"

Emily looked at JJ in total shock. "How?...when did you?..."

JJ pulled her back into an embrace. "Nothing, really. I've just caught you watching him sometimes." She pulled back a little. "It's ok, no-one has ever said anything. And no-one would blame you anyway." She smiled, remembering how she once felt. "We've all felt it, Em. Even the men."

Emily stared at her, wiping her eyes. "Really?"

JJ smiled sadly and nodded. "But he's with Hotch now, so we've all lost out!"

"JJ, I can't believe they've gone. I just can't."

"Nor me, Em." The two women clung to each other and cried.

Two doors down, Derek was pacing and swearing. Rossi was sitting on his bed, his head in his hands. He refused to cry when someone could see him, but he was very close.

"I refuse to believe it." Morgan thumped the table making the coffee cups jump and clatter. "Not like that! Not in a fire!"

Dave looked up at him. "We don't know for certain, Derek. There are no bodies, no evidence. What was it that Aaron always said? Until we find evidence to the contrary, we always assume that they are still alive."

"So what do we do? David, we need to know where to look!"

"Tomorrow, we can go back to the hospital. There might be something we have missed."

"There is no hospital any more." Derek sat down on the other bed facing Rossi. "Oh god, Dave. I can't believe this has happened."

Rossi saw that Morgan had tears in his eyes. "We'll go back there and help the search. If they are there, I want one of their friends to find them, not a stranger."

Morgan reached out and put his hand on Rossi's shoulder.

"We can do that for them, yes."Rossi looked up. He was crying too.

Aaron slept for a little while. Sheer exhaustion from pain and distress had sent him into a light dreamless sleep. He woke up shivering. The concrete floor was damp, and the chill had soaked through him. His right arm had no feeling in it where he had been lying. He could not move anything below his waist. He tried to move his toes, but nothing happened. But he could still feel the pain. When he lay still, it was like an ache. If he moved, even a tiny bit, it felt like knives in his hips and tearing at his insides. He could feel his pulse in his groin, and every beat brought new pain. His face and hair were stuck to the floor with blood, and it hurt as he lifted his head to see Spencer. He moaned as he pulled himself along the cold floor to Spence.

He was in the chair, leaning forward from the plastic ties around his wrists. His hair was over his face, and Aaron saw dried blood in his hair and on the side of his face. He had held his broken leg out 

straight; the other was bent back under the chair. Aaron watched him breathe. He watched every little movement he made. He noticed his long eyelashes flicker on his cheeks as he softly cried in his sleep, lost in a dream where no-one could help him. And he wondered if this was to be their last night together.

Aaron got as close as he could, and hooked his hands around Spencer's leg. He rested his face against him, and lay there in the cold, shivering and softly whimpering as he waited out the night.


	7. Explanations

Chapter 7

Explanations

'_**A man must be sacrificed now and again to provide for the next generation of men.' Author:Amy Lowell**_

Dave called the girls on the phone early the next morning.

"Derek and I are going to help clear the fire scene, and I would like you to come too. It's not an order, but I think it would be helpful."

"I'll come." said Emily, finishing Rossi's thoughts in her mind.

_And search for the bodies of Reid and Hotch..._

"I'll tell JJ." She cut the connection and knocked on the bathroom door.

"Rossi said if we want to we can go to the fire scene and sift through the ashes." Her voice was breaking up. She badly wanted to go, but she wasn't sure she would be much help.

She just wanted to be close, in case they found anything.

JJ unlocked the door, wrapped in a robe, rubbing a towel on her hair. "Ok." she said softly. Her eyes, like Emily's, were red from crying. JJ pulled a tee shirt from her case, and a pair of combats. Emily went into the bathroom.

An hour later, the four agents met in the hall of the hotel. None of them wanted breakfast. JJ and Emily had brushed damp hair into a pony tail. Neither had put on any make up. Emily noticed that both men had been crying. 

'_This has to be one of the worst days of my life' _Emily thought, feeling fresh tears prick the back of her eyes.

They got into the SUV, and Rossi drove in silence to the former hospital site.

* * *

Conny slept well that night. It was cold, but he had got used to that in the months he had been living down here. Les had been so good to him, fixing up the electricity for him to use, explaining their special mission. When the bitch had murdered him, Conny thought his life would end. But then he remembered the mission, to carry on the work, and it gave him a new lease of life.

He turned on his side and watched his two guests. The one on the chair – he wasn't sure of his name, but he thought his first name was Spencer. If so, then he was Dr Spencer Reid – he was leaning forward still as he had been left the night before. He didn't know much about that one.

But the other one, well he knew quite a lot about him. Les had shown him how he could go up into the offices at night, and play on the computer. When he found out by chatting to the staff in the dining room, that the FBI BAU was coming, he checked up on as much as he could find on the team. Their last case was in all the papers, and posted on the internet, and it screamed out at him that at least one of the team, Agent Aaron Hotchner, should be next.

And then, he literally fell into his lap. Oh so perfect!

That one, Hotchner, had moved from where he left him. He was half under the chair, and seemed to be hanging onto the other's leg. He was going to have to keep them apart. With a weary sigh, he swung his legs round onto the floor. Time to wake them up.

He took a handful of the younger one's long hair, (How did they let him get away with it?) and jerked his head up. Spencer's eyes snapped open.

"Your early morning call!" and he laughed as if he had just cracked the funniest joke ever.

Then he bent down and grabbed hold of Aaron's legs. 

Spencer's eyes widened. "No!" he yelled. "Not like that!"

Conny yanked Aaron away from Spencer by his legs.

There are no words to describe the pain inflicted on Hotch at that moment. He felt bones and tissue move against each other, and ball and socket joints pulling apart. Spencer sobbed at the sound of Aaron's agonised scream as Conny pulled him back into the middle of his living space and roughly turned him over onto his back. He let go of Aaron's feet, and his legs dropped back down onto the floor.

Aaron clawed at his face and hair, trying to stop the dreadful agonies. He wanted to beg, plead, to be killed , to get it over with, to end this, but he forgot how to form words. The only sounds he could make were screams and cries. He turned his head to the side and was violently sick, as his empty stomach protested against the treatment.

Spencer pulled and twisted the ties that were binding him. The edges of the plastic were cutting into his white wrists, scarlet blood dripping into a pool behind his chair. But he didn't notice. He didn't notice that he was icy cold and damp, and his arms and chest were white with cold. The only thing on his mind was getting Aaron away from this madman.

Aaron's cries became softer. Each breath became a cry as he lay on the damp cold floor. He covered his face with his hands; he didn't want Spencer to see that he was crying. He didn't want to discourage him with his own lack of courage. So he lay there, trying, and failing, to get control.

Conny was sitting on the bed opening a tin of peaches. He drank the juice from the tin and ate the peach slices with the wooden spoon. As he ate the food, he started to chat to his guests.

"You are a cheat, Agent Hotchner. That is why you must be next. It was always going to be you, but I hadn't figured out how I was going to get you, and then you came to me!"

"How is he a cheat?" Spencer said. Aaron was not capable of speech.

"This is not for you, you keep out of it!" He threw the empty tin into the box. Spencer watched it; his mouth would have watered, had he had enough fluid in his body.

Conny turned back to addressing the sobbing man lying on the floor. "But I didn't want to send you easily, Hotch. May I call you Hotch? No. No easy way back for you. You see, you came here to stop me, to hurt me. So before you leave, I want to hurt you." He opened a tin of Lilt, and took a mouthful. "I really need a fridge!" He put the tin on the table. "Now, where was I? Oh yes. I need to hurt you first, because you were here to hurt me."

Spencer tried to make sense of what Conny was saying. He could understand the twisted thinking that he wanted to hurt them, but what was the rest about? He wanted Aaron dead, but he couldn't work out why. He dared to speak, terrified that Conny would hurt Aaron in response. But if they were going to be killed down here, he wanted to know why.

"Please, Conny, may I speak?"

Conny looked up at him in annoyance. "What do you want?"

"How is Aaron a cheat? What has he done?"

Conny sighed and picked up his drink again. "You really don't know, do you? And you being a party to it as well. I read that you are a genius. I think that was wrong though. You work it out!"

Conny knelt by Aaron. "Are you listening to me?"

Aaron still couldn't speak. He was shaking and trembling, his breaths were jerky and painful. He nodded his head slowly.

"Why did you want to stop me?"

Aaron struggled to speak, but words wouldn't come. Conny kicked him on the side of the head. "I asked you a question! Answer me!"

Aaron's head jerked to the side. Blood sprayed from his lips. Spencer screamed. "Leave him alone! Don't touch him you bastard!"

Conny turned to Spencer. "What did you say?" Conny reached under the bed and pulled out an iron bar. He walked towards Spence. "What did you call me?"

Spencer cringed as Conny raised the weapon.


	8. Walkabout

Chapter 8

Walkabout

_**The deep pain that is felt at the death of every friendly soul arises from the feeling that there is in every individual something which is inexpressible, peculiar to him alone, and is, therefore, absolutely and irretrievably lost. Arthur Schopenhauer**_

Emily stood at the edge of the burnt out wreckage and watched Morgan and Rossi through tear filled eyes. She couldn't bring herself to look, as if by looking she could change the outcome. JJ came up to her and handed her a coffee in a cardboard cup. She took it absently, staring out over the hospital site to the fields beyond. There were horses in the field, running up and down, manes and tails flying. She so longed to be on one, riding on and on, away from here and the sadness.

"Do you want to go back, Em? I'll drive you if you want."

"I've got to be here, for them. For Reid and Hotch." she said softly. "I've abandoned then once. I won't do it again." She turned her back on the distressing view. "Do you realise, if I had raised the alarm straight away, they might have got out? Instead, I'm getting annoyed with them because I couldn't get back! Because I didn't have the keys! I could have saved them, JJ, and I didn't!"

JJ didn't know what to say. She could field a room full of belligerent reporters, cope with TV crews who wanted what they couldn't have, but she was totally unable to find the right words to comfort her friend. She took Emily's cup and put it, and her own, on the floor.

"Come here, Em." She reached out her arms and the two women embraced, while their colleagues searched the burnt ruins for the bodies of their friends.

* * *

Connie brought down the bar onto Spencer's broken shin. The skin broke, and blood immediately soaked the leg of his trousers. He screamed as he heard a crack. He wanted to crawl away and cry and hold his leg and be safe but all he could do was scream. Conny raised the bar again.

"No! No! Please, not again! I'm sorry! I'm Sorry!" Spencer cried. He struggled to draw his leg away, under the chair, but the pain of moving it was too much. He closed his eyes and braced himself,

Aaron reached out for Conny, but he wasn't close enough. He watched in horror as he brought the weapon down on Spencer's already broken leg. Tears sprang from his eyes on Spencer's behalf. Then Conny stepped back as he raised the bar for the second attack, Aaron reached out and grabbed his ankle, and pulled. Aaron had very little strength left now, but what little he did have, he expended for Spencer.

It was enough though. Conny wasn't expecting Aaron to do anything, and he overbalanced. Forgetting why he was beating Spencer, he turned on Aaron and brought the bar down on his wrists. Aaron didn't scream or cry out. He fell back onto the floor in a faint.

Conny was upset now. He really wanted to tell Hotch what he was doing, and why. Now he was going to have to wait for them to wake up.

He thought it was time he went outside for some air. He dragged the unconscious Aaron over to the wall, and tied his hands to a pipe. He thought that his wrists might be broken. He really didn't know his own strength sometimes. And if Aaron woke up, his wrists were going to hurt like hell.

But he couldn't risk having him escaping. He didn't want any shouting for help either. He tore some strips off the edge of the blanket, and shoved some into Aaron's mouth, and tied it with a gag. He saw that Spencer was leaning back in the chair, It looked as if he was unconscious too. Was this the best the FBI could do? a couple of wimps! So pathetic. He gagged Spencer in the same way, checked his bonds, and left.

There was a small door at the far corner of the basement, which led to a long tunnel, which in turn led to the stables in the next field. No one was really sure what the tunnel was originally for, but in the hospital's previous life, it had been a leper colony, and the tunnel was thought to be the way the inmates went out on various assignations. Now it was Conrad Corbin's way to the surface.

* * *

As he climbed over the style from the horses' field onto the road, he noticed people in the hospital grounds. He decided to go and say hello.

There were two women, and two men. As he got closer, he noticed that the women were crying. He switched on his sympathy face that Les (Poor Les) had taught him, and approached them.

"What is the matter? Is there anything I can do?"

Emily and JJ swung round to face the man. JJ visibly jumped.

"I...erm...we lost two well loved friends in the fire." said Emily, wiping a tear off her nose and cheeks. "We still can't believe it's happened."

JJ gave the stranger a small smile. "We'll be fine, thank you for asking." She paused, and then said, "Did you see the fire?"

"Oh yes." he answered. "Flames were huge." He smiled sweetly. "What are your friends doing?"

"Police work." said JJ. "Confidential." She really didn't want to go explaining to a complete stranger what was happening. Morgan and Rossi had stopped work and were looking over in their direction. Conny didn't like the look of them.

"I'll be on my way then." he said and walked back towards the stables. The women watched him go.

Morgan came over to them. "What was all that about?" he asked.

"He was creepy." said JJ.

"How was he creepy? Worth a follow up?" asked Morgan.

"Definitely." said Emily. "It was like he wanted to inject himself, but just wasn't bright enough to be able to do it."

"Did you get a name?"

"No, but he came from the stables." Emily pointed towards the horses' field. "And he went back that way."

"Ok, I'll make some enquiries as to who owns the field. Maybe they'll know him."

"We'll go back and see what a sketch artist can come up with." said JJ. "Then we'll get back here, pick you two up for lunch."

"See you later then."

Emily and JJ got in the SUV, and drove back in the direction of the PD, both trying not to let the image of the man fade.

* * *

Conny sat on a straw bale in the stable, breathing heavily. Man that had been so exciting! They thought that the two FBI's had died in the fire! How perfect was that? They wouldn't even be looking for them! He could hardly wait to tell them that their friends had given up on them! Conny wished Les was till here, so they could celebrate together like they used to do. He wanted to jump and scream and run, he was so hyped up on adrenalin.

The time had come now, to do what he was supposed to be doing. 

Aaron Hotchner would not cheat death again.

* * *

Spencer felt the pain first. His leg was wet and he could smell blood. His leg felt as if it was burning. Then he felt the gag, and suddenly he couldn't breathe. He squirmed and panicked, trying to dislodge the gag. He made himself sit still, and breathe in a controlled way. He could breathe through his nose. He calmed down slowly, and looked for Aaron.

He was across the alcove, half sitting, half lying. The top half of his body was off the ground, his wrists tied onto a pipe. Spencer could see that Aaron's hands were swollen and blue, his weight hanging on the ties, which were tight on his skin. He saw that he had also been gagged.

Spencer looked around for Conny. He remembered him saying that there was another way out. For a sickening moment, he thought that they had been abandoned here to die. Not being able to call for help, and with their injuries, it surely wouldn't take long before they died of shock or thirst. He yanked at the bonds again, a futile effort and waste of time.

Aaron was waking up. As he came round, he made distressed sounds behind the gag. He tried to move closer to the wall, so that he could take the weight off his hands, but he was way beyond movement. So he hung there by his broken wrists, unable to move or even cry. He turned his head towards Spencer, his blood smeared eyes shedding tears, wondering how long it was going to be before Conny came back to kill them


	9. Reasons Given

Chapter 9

Reasons Given

_**"You smile with pomp and rigor, you talk of benevolence and virtue; I act with benevolence and virtue and get murdered time after time." **__**William Blake**_

Conny sauntered back down the tunnel. He was still shaking with an overflow of adrenalin, as he approached the door into the basement. He wanted to whistle, but even his lips were shaking! It was a long time since he had felt this excited.

He had killed before, but this was different. All the foreplay had got him trembling with anticipation. He hadn't realised before what a thrill it could be, keeping his prey prisoner first. He was going to have to do this every time. He was tired of creeping around the hospital wards at night, injecting sleeping targets. This was way more fun. He could almost feed on the fear in their eyes. It was a tangible, physical thing, and a new experience for him.

He thought of the women he had spoken to. He didn't like the blonde; way too full of herself. But the other one, Thick dark hair and burning (if not a little red) eyes. Well she was something! He wanted to meet her again, at the same time, he could find out about the investigation.

_Ha! There was no investigation! All the evidence had gone up in smoke, and they aren't even looking for these two!_

He pulled the metal sheet back across the doorway, and headed back to his prey. All tied up and silent. He wanted to hurt them again; it gave him so much pleasure, such a release. He stood a way off so that he could watch them. The one called Spencer Reid, well, as far as he knew, he was not a cheat. He had never looked death in the face and won. But, when it came down to it, did that really matter?

Spencer Reid was leaning forward, trying to...trying to what? They couldn't speak. Just be closer? Oh yes, he was going to enjoy killing these two!

He called out to his guests as he walked over to them. Startled, Spencer looked round. Aaron didn't though. Conny thought maybe he couldn't. He was tied a little awkwardly.

He wondered if he would get the feelings of release simply by hitting them. He approached Spencer and drew back a fist and punched the helpless man in the face. He made a sound behind the gag, his head bounced off the concrete wall. Blood welled up around the gag, and his eyes began to water.

Yes! It was pretty satisfying. He was a little sorry that he had gone off script. Les had been very specific in who needed to be sent away, but Hell! Les was gone now! He could do as he liked. 

He thought it might be better if he could hear them scream. Decision made, he took a knife from a drawer in the table, and took it over to Spencer. His guts twitched excitedly as he saw terror in Spencer's eyes.

He yanked Spencer's head forwards by the hair, and cut through the gag, pushed his head back, and pulled it from his bleeding mouth. Spencer's lips had stuck to the gag, and he moaned as his lips split and bled. He pulled Spencer's head back, and punched him again. This time there was a sound.

Very satisfying.

Happily, he turned to Aaron. Aaron looked as if he was trying to shrink away from him, but he hadn't actually moved. His eyes were big and dark and they shone with fear. Conny pulled his head forward and cut the gag off. Aaron took a deep breath, and at once, cried out as broken rib ground against broken rib. Conny looked down at him, and tapped Aaron's cold swollen fingers with his foot. Aaron gasped, and cried out again as he breathed in. Then he kicked Aaron's fingers. Aaron bit down on his bottom lip to stop the scream, and the sound he made was more of a frightened moan. Aaron's hands were cold and blue. The ties had cut off the blood supply to his hands, and Aaron couldn't move to relieve the pressure. Conny noticed a little blood around where the edges of the ties had cut through the skin, Aaron's weight being taken by his broken wrists. Conny smiled with satisfaction as Aaron's pained breathing seemed to be more ragged, more pained, with each breath.

He stood back, and sat on the edge of the table, rather like a well loved school teacher facing a class.

"Right!" he announced. "First I have some news. Good news for me, not so good for you." He smiled. "I have just had a chat with a lovely lady, who claims she knows you." He looked at the two men, gauging their response. "They are at this moment looking for your bodies in the wreckage of the fire. Isn't that wonderful? Now we all know that even if they don't find bodies, it won't rule out you dying in the fire. So rescue, I'm afraid, is not going to happen." 

He relished the shock on their faces. He almost laughed, things were just so right.

"Now I need to tell you why I've brought you here, and why I am going to kill you, Aaron Hotchner. As you've probably guessed, Les and I helped some people to die." He looked at his subjects, checking their reaction. Yes, they were responding. The only sound they were making was the shaky breathing and the occasional whimper and sob. He continued. "All those who died, were cheats. They had died, and come back from the dead. Les explained it like this: When they died, their souls were released. This is right." He checked that his class was listening. "But then, they came back, as soulless beings! Less than human, abominations. They had to be sent away." He got down on his knees, and knelt by Aaron. Aaron shook his head at Conny. He had no argument for the man's twisted logic.

Spencer called out, trying to distract him from Aaron. "H-how can you b-be sure the soul didn't reunite with the b-body?"

Conny turned from Aaron, but he didn't move away. He stared at Spencer scornfully. "Would you come back from Paradise to live back here?"

He turned back to Aaron, again wielded the knife. Aaron cringed away from him, but Conny simply cut the bonds around Aaron's wrists. Aaron fell backwards to the floor, cracking his head, and tearing his scalp. His arms, rigid and hurting, went into spasms as the pressure was released. Aaron rolled onto his side, arms outstretched in front of him. He was beyond all sense and reason. His one thought was to die quickly, and try to get Spencer free.

"Please," he gasped. Before he could say anything else, Conny's boot impacted with his mouth. He turned his head to face the floor, allowing the blood to run freely onto the concrete. He tried to rest on his elbows, but as he moved, again his crushed hips made him scream through his torn mouth. He rolled onto his back' Blood pouring from his mouth and nose.

"Just kill me." Aaron said. "Please... let Spencer go... Just ... me."

Spencer pulled and tugged at his bonds. "Please no! Oh please! Please, let him go!"

Conny ignored the rantings, and began to pull Aaron away from the wall, into the middle of the room. Aaron was too exhausted to scream. He could barely breathe. Conny held him under the arms; Aaron's head fell back weakly as he was dragged across the floor. Every couple of breaths, he coughed, frothy blood at the corners of his mouth. When he was in the middle of the little alcove Conny dropped him. Aaron fell hard onto the floor, letting out a weak cry. He lay still where he had landed, arms out by his side, bloody, broken, and near death. When Conny bent over him with the syringe, Aaron didn't move or object. Conny put his hand behind Aaron's neck, lifted his head to expose his throat. He tried to watch as Conny brought the syringe closer, but his eyes wouldn't focus, and they tipped back in a last attempt to see Spencer. He felt the cold point as it touched the skin of his throat. He could hear Spencer crying, begging Conny to stop. He could hear his sweet voice, and he thought, lying here, about to die, Spencer's voice was good to hear.

"Please," Aaron whispered. "Please, let him go..."

The needle broke deep into the flesh of his throat, and he felt a cold rush in his vein, as Conny emptied the syringe.


	10. Assignation

Chapter 10

Assignation

"_**Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death." ANON**_

Emily and JJ got out of the SUV back at the hospital. Morgan and Rossi were sitting on a grass bank. Morgan was looking out over the site, Rossi had his head in his hands. The two women went and sat down with them. Emily showed them the sketch.

"It's a pretty good likeness." Emily said.

"You found anything?" asked JJ, not knowing if she wanted a yes or no answer. Morgan shook his head.

"But that doesn't really mean anything." he added, clinging to a shred of hope. He took the picture from Emily. "Do we know who owns the field?"

JJ handed him the address. "The horses belong to them too."

Morgan said, "JJ and I will go and see if we get any joy from them." he nodded to JJ, and the two walked towards the SUV. 

"I'll carry on here." said Rossi.

"I'll check out the stables." said Emily. She needed to be doing something, but she couldn't face digging for the bodies of her friends.

She was half way across the field when she heard Rossi's mobile ring. She stopped, and waited. If there was any news she wanted to hear it. She watched until Rossi nodded, and broke the connection. He kept the phone in his hand, and didn't put it away. She walked back a little way, and called to him.

"Anything?"

"Something interesting!" he called back. She hurried back.

"Garcia has been checking out the history of the hospital." he said, "And she had found some old drawings, showing an extensive basement. It's not used now, but there is no record of it having been filled in."

"So there's space under here?" A little glimmer of hope began to shine more brightly. "Has she sent a plan?"

Rossi handed her his phone. The screen showed the ground floor layout of the hospital, overlaying a plan of the basement. She held it in front of her, trying to orient the image in real space. She walked over to where the entrance once stood.

"This is where we were coming out." she said. "There's supposed to be a basement entrance right there, just inside."

She was on her hands and knees, pushing charred wood and masonry out of the way.

"There's no way of digging down without mechanical help." she said to Rossi, who was now standing beside her. 

"I'll get some." he said. She gave him back the phone.

I'll go and check out the stables."

Emily stood up, and started walking back across the field.

_So there is a small chance that they are in the basement. But why would they go down there? A small chance indeed. But a chance none the less._

The horses came trotting over to the stile as she climbed over. She stroked their soft noses, and cried.

* * *

"I've not used this one before." said Conny, almost to himself, as he pulled the needle from Aaron's neck. He stood up and looked down on his victim. Aaron's unfocused eyes stared at nothing, waiting for the symptoms to show themselves.

"What did you give him?"

Spencer had given up. He had no hope of rescue, and even less of escaping. He cried out inside for Aaron, knowing that he wasn't going to live through this. He just wanted to be with him. He couldn't take his eyes off his lover, dying in front of him.

"Please," he begged softly. "Can I sit with him?"

Conny stood still for a moment, coming to a decision.

"Oh, ok. I don't see why not."

He moved to Spencer, and cut the ties binding him to the chair. Spencer reached forward, and pushed his injured les to the side. Falling forwards onto his hands, he pulled himself over the rough concrete floor to Aaron. His hands started to bleed again, as they scraped on the ground.

"What did you give him?"

"Nicotine." said Conny, holding the syringe up to the light. "He should feel it any minute now."

"H-how much?"Spencer lifted Aaron's head gently onto his lap. 

"Enough." Connie turned away. "I'll be back for you soon now. I'm going to meet someone."

But Spencer was no longer listening to him. He was holding Aaron, clearing blood, dirt and tears from his face, talking to him, loving him.

Aaron's eyes were wide open as the drug started to affect him.

"I'm here, Babe. I'm here." Aaron tried to move his hands, he wanted to hold onto Spencer, when the tremors started. He ground his teeth together, panicking. He started to moan and throw his arms out. Spencer held his face, looked into staring eyes.

"Babe, look at me. Concentrate on me!"

Aaron tried to draw his eyes to Spencer, tired to concentrate. He arched his back involuntarily, his chest heaved and he vomited violently, crying out with agony as the drug caught hold of his body systems. He turned his head so that he was looking directly at Spencer. His eyes were wet and scared, he tried to speak, but his mouth wouldn't form words. Spencer brushed his dry broken lips.

"I love you. I always will."

Atropine. What use was his recall? No use whatsoever. He just wanted to cry, there was nothing he could do to relieve Aaron's suffering. It wouldn't be long now, and...

"Fight it, Love. Fight it. Get strength from me." Spencer drew Aaron's hands to his face, carefully holding the broken wrists, gently kissing his fingers, pressing his face against the backs of Aaron's hands. "You are strong, Babe. Fight it."

Spencer knew that there was no fight that could win against a lethal dose of nicotine. It was just a matter of time, before Aaron's heart and lungs stopped working.

Aaron dry vomited, his chest heaved and wretched, there was nothing left, his throat hurt, but he couldn't stop. His chest tore and ripped against sharp snapped ribs. He tried to focus. What was happening? He wanted to call Spencer. Where was he? Why was he alone? He called his name, but he couldn't hear it. His legs suddenly jerked straight, as if someone was pulling them, yanking his legs out of his hips. This time he heard his scream, but he couldn't remember screaming. His back left the ground and he forgot everything.

Spencer clutched onto him as he convulsed. His legs jerked and his arms pulled away from him. As his back arched and the convulsion took him, his eyes rolled up and he screamed.

* * *

The lovely dark haired woman was sitting on the stile, crying. Wonderful. He had hoped she would be there, but he didn't really know if she would be. He was sitting next to her before she saw him. He touched her, and she jumped with a cry.

"I am sorry, dear. I didn't mean to make you jump."

She started at him. It took a second for her to get het breath back. He was here! Sitting next to her. 

_Rossi! Look over here now! He's here!_

She had her back to Rossi, she needed to get his attention.

"Hello. Where did you go earlier. I wanted to talk to you."

"I went for a walk. Why?"

"Well, you seemed interested in the case, I was going to talk to you about it."

"That would be fascinating!" he said, trying not to manifest excitement, and failing.

"Let me call my colleague over. He's the expert." without waiting for an answer, she turned round and called Rossi.

"No!" shouted Conny angrily. "It was you I wanted to talk to. I only wanted you!"

Furiously he shoved Emily and ran. As Rossi got to the stile, Emily had drawn her gun and was following Conny to the stable. Rossi caught her up and they walked side by side into the old wooded building.

"Where'd he go?"

The room was empty. No straw or evidence that horses were ever kept in here. No other doors, no windows.

"Are you sure he came in here?"

"Well, I was." said Emily, confused. "I may have been mistaken. The sun was in my eyes."

"Let's search the other buildings. He may have slipped out again." Rossi turned and stepped into the light again, Emily swung round the room again, and with a confused frown, turned and followed Rossi out.

* * *

"Bloody woman!" Conny was really upset. He punched the wall of the passage. "Now I'm going to kill the other one! I might have let him go, so it's your fault I'm killing this one!"

He raged and swore a he went back to his captives. Hotchner looked as if he was having a seizure. Well that could go on for a good while, his heart slowed down and his lungs stopped working. It really was a race. Would he die of heart failure or respiratory arrest?

Spencer didn't look up at him when he came back into the room. Conny went to the table and retrieved the syringe. He took a small bottle from the drawer, and inverted it. He filled the syringe, and emptied it on the floor. Then he filled it again, and took it to the two men on the floor. He pushed Spencer back onto the floor, as Aaron's body relaxed again. He stood on Spencer's arm; Spencer pulled, trying to get away, but he knew it was futile. Conny shot the full syringe into the muscle of the upper arm. 

"What was that?" Spencer asked softly, no fear left.

"Insulin."

Spencer crawled back to Aaron's side. He pressed his head against Aaron's chest and put his arm across his shivering body, and held him.


	11. The Escape Route

Chapter 11

The Escape Route

_**The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins?**__** - Edgar Allan Poe**_

Morgan and JJ rang the bell. According to Garcia, this was the home of the people who owned the field and horses. A woman in her thirties came to the door. Long mousy hair pulled back in a band, check shirt and jeans. JJ thought she belonged on the back of a horse.

Derek said, "I am Agent Derek Morgan and this is Agent Jennifer Jareau of the FBI."

She looked startled. "FBI?"

"It's ok, we were wondering if you recognise this man." JJ said, handing her a copy of the drawing. She looked at it for a moment or two, and handed it back.

"Yes, I've seen him hanging round the fields. I don't know anything about him though." JJ took the picture back. "I wondered if he was looking for the tunnel."

"What tunnel?" Morgan said.

"Well, there was a tunnel that led from the hospital, coming out in the field somewhere. It was used by the lepers when the hospital was a leper colony. The entrance was blocked up when there was an outbreak of plague in the hospital." The woman shuddered.

"Where was the tunnel entrance?" asked JJ.

"I couldn't tell you, I'm sorry. We've only lived here for a month, and haven't had time to explore. I've not looked for it. It was covered over, hidden. And it was blocked up. The local people didn't want rats and stuff coming out and infecting the land."

"Thank you for the information." JJ handed her a card. "If anything else comes to mind, would you call me?" The woman nodded and put the card in her pocket. "Good bye."

They hurried back to the SUV.

"Well, that's interesting." said Morgan. "If the tunnel's been opened up again, it could be how our UnSub was getting into the hospital."

JJ got her mobile out. "I'll call Rossi."

* * *

Emily started to follow Rossi across the field towards another building, but she hesitated.

"David, I'm sure he didn't come out. I'm going to check it out properly."

Rossi turned around and jogged back to her. "Not on your own."

They both switched on their flashlights and moved around the edge of the barn in opposite directions, checking the floor. There were no floorboards, just impacted dried out mud. Suddenly Rossi saw Emily get down onto the floor.

"I think I may have something."

The ground where Emily was crouching looked slightly different to that surrounding it, a slightly lighter colour, easily missed if you weren't looking for it. She scraped her fingers around the edge, and found a wooden handle embedded into the wooden frame. Rossi watched as she pulled it and a trap door opened.

Rossi's phone rang.

Emily waited while he listened. He said, "We've just found it. Prentiss and I are going in. Please get back here; we may need back-up."

He folded his phone and slipped it into his pocket. 

"It is supposed to be blocked up." Emily said.

"Well, someone has unblocked it." Rossi said. "Let's go."

* * *

Spencer felt Aaron's shivering and jerky movements slow down. His breaths rattled in his chest as the poison took effect. He turned wide eyes to Spencer, desperately trying to suck air into his rapidly weakening body.

"Can't...breathe..." He gasped, flinging his arms back in panic. Spencer touched his face.

"Fight, Babe. Don't be frightened. Breathe slowly." Spencer ran a hand through his thick dark hair, tears misting his vision. He could feel Aaron's heart beating too quickly. "Be calm, Babe."

Spencer could feel the insulin doing its work. He felt sweat on his face and on the small of his back. He wanted to concentrate on Aaron. Without someone to keep him awake, Aaron would quickly fall into shock and die. Spencer felt fatigue and nausea overcoming him. He forced his eyes to stay open.

"Aaron, Love, be calm..." Spencer twisted away and vomited. He felt darkness just at the limit of his consciousness. He fought it, clinging to Aaron. 

Aaron struggled for breath as paralysis set in. He felt someone holding him. Spencer? He didn't know. His eyes were wide, but he couldn't make any sense of what he was seeing. His lungs were refusing to inflate. He felt panicky, and a long way off he heard Spencer's voice telling him to breathe slowly. He had no control any more; he couldn't make his body do what he wanted it to. He tried to put his arms around Spencer, but movement was beyond him. He wanted to say good-bye, but he could no longer speak. All he could do was whimper softly as each feeble breath left him, and each time one did, he was sure he would not be able to take another.

Conny watched. There was something not right about these two. He thought he had seen the kissing before, but he dismissed it. There could be no mistake now, as he watched them touch in their death throes. "I can't watch this any more! I will have to kill you now."

He picked up a large slab of masonry, and lifted it above their heads.

* * *

The passage was too narrow for David and Emily to walk side by side, so Emily walked in front. Their flashlight beams cut ahead of them through the darkness of the underground tunnel, picking out the smoothness of the walls where hundreds of sick people had touched them in a desperate run to freedom. Emily tried not to think of the sadness that seemed to emanate from the cold walls, but it was difficult not to. 

A bend to the right, and the end of the tunnel was in front of them.

A door in front of them stood open. Emily stepped out of the chill of the passage into the old hospital basement. David stepped out and stood beside her. 

It was dark, but ahead, light shone between the girders holding the ceiling at bay. Carefully and noiselessly, the two agents split up. Emily crept ahead towards the light Rossi went round to the right.

Emily stopped when she saw the man. It took a moment for her to understand what was happening. She watched as a man hefted a slab from the ground. Then Emily saw something lying on the ground.

Suddenly, her brain made sense of the scene before her. It was Reid and Hotch, lying helpless. She raised her gun.

"FBI! Don't move!"

Connie stopped, and looked across at her. It was the dark haired woman! She had come to find him!

Rossi's voice cut through from behind him."If you take a step I'll shoot you!"

Connie ignored him. Smiling at Emily, he took a step towards the two fallen agents. It was the last thing he ever did. Emily watched as Rossi's gun fired, and a red patch appeared as if by magic on Conny's chest. He dropped the slab, and fell forward.

Emily was at the side of Aaron and Spencer before Conny hit the ground. Rossi picked up two small bottles and a syringe from the floor.

Emily separated the two men. "Oh my god! What has he done to you?" She fought back tears as she saw their damaged bodies. Hotch's lips were turning blue, his breathing laboured and very slow. His eyes were wide open , and she could see panic there. Spencer's eyes were closed, and he was wet with perspiration, although he was shivering, and his breathing was shallow. Neither man was moving. 

Rossi was trying to call emergency services.

"Damn it! No signal!" He pressed the bottles and syringe into Emily's hand and ran to the tunnel. Emily checked the bottles. One contained a brown liquid and was labelled 'nicotine' in scruffy handwriting, the other, clear colourless liquid, labelled 'insulin'. She looked back at her fallen colleagues.

"Spencer, I think you have been given insulin. I am going to find some sugar for you." She didn't know if he could hear her, but as she moved away from him, he moaned. She called out to him.

"We're going to get you out of here!" 

There were some cans of cola on the floor. Quickly she opened one and took it back to Spence. She knelt at his head and lifted him onto her lap.

"Drink this, Sweetie. It will help you."

Spencer turned his head away, pushing at the can, struggling to get off her lap.

"It's ok. It's me, Emily. This will get you better."

Spencer's lips were clamped together, his head snapping from side to side. Rossi ran back into the room. 

"Dave, help me here!"

Rossi took the can from Emily.

"Hold him still!"

Emily wrapped one arm around Reid's chest, holding his arms down, the other around his forehead, holding his head still, close to her. Dave held his nose and forced his mouth open. Spencer squirmed and fought, but he didn't have enough strength remaining. Dave poured cola into his mouth and held it closed until he swallowed.

"That's good, Spencer. Now another."

Again, Dave forced him to drink. Spencer cried out sounds of protest as he attempted to spit the drink out. Rossi continued until the can was empty.

He had stopped squirming, his eyes were slightly open, and he was moaning with exhaustion.

"Ok, Prentiss. He should be alright now." Emily laid him down, and they turned to Aaron.

Carefully they turned him onto his back. Emily's hand flew to his face.

"David, is he dead?"

Rossi felt his chest. There didn't seem to be much movement.

"I don't know. Help me carry him out!"

Dave took Aaron under the arms; Emily wrapped her arms around his legs.

"The emergency services should be here soon. Let's get him topside, it will save time." 

_...and hopefully, his life._

As quickly as they could, they carried him along the passage into the barn. They gently laid him down. Emily tried to stop the tears. This was so awful. They had given them up as dead, and all the time they were being tortured by a madman. All the time, alive, suffering, needing them, and they hadn't even been looking.

Now it looked as if they were too late to save Hotch. She leaned over him, cupped his face in her hands.

"Come on, Sir!" She bent and listened to his chest. Was there a heart beat? If there was, it wasn't regular, or strong. His eyes weren't wide any more. They were half closed. Through his lids she saw white. His arms lay unmoving by his side, his chest still.

Rossi had gone outside. He came back in with Morgan, JJ and four paramedics. He put a gentle hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him through teary eyes.

"He's died. We're too late." She couldn't hold back the tears now. They streamed down her cheeks.

"Emily, take the paramedics down to Reid."

Emily backed away from Aaron, not wanting to take her eyes off him. Then she turned away.

"He's this way!"

She led two 'medics to the tunnel.


	12. Loss

Chapter 12

Loss

_**People do not die for us immediately, but remain bathed in a sort of aura of life which bears no relation to true immortality but through which they continue to occupy our thoughts in the same way as when they were alive. It is as though they were travelling abroad. - Marcel Proust**_

Emily stood back as the 'medics checked Spencer. He was lying on his side, eyes closed. He looked as if he was sleeping, if it wasn't for the dirt and blood. He was covered in cuts and scratches, his lips split and bleeding, and the palms of his hands were bloody. His leg, twisted and misshapen and tied to a splint, was bleeding onto his clothes. His shirt was gone. She remembered that Hotch had splints tied to his body with cloth strips.

"Is he going to be ok?" she asked tentatively. "He was hypoglycaemic. We gave him some cola."

"I think you probably saved his life. Apart from the cuts and the leg, I think he's going to be fine." He smiled up at Emily. "He's sleeping off the hypo now."

They lifted Spencer onto a stretcher, and followed Emily out to the barn. He complained in his sleep at the movements, but that just meant he was responsive. It was a good thing.

They took Spencer straight to the ambulance, and one of the 'medics stayed with him, while Emily and his colleague went to see if they could help with Hotch.

Emily stood next to Rossi, who was standing back in silence while they frantically worked on him. He was lying supine, arms outstretched, not moving. He had been intubated, and was being ventilated by hand, as his intercostal muscles and diaphragm were paralysed. They were now worried that he would suffer heart failure, but as yet, his heart was still struggling on.

"Respiratory failure is the most dangerous." Rossi said, needing to say something. "They need to keep him breathing. As long as his heart doesn't stop..."

"...pupils responsive, but sluggish...muscle reflexes absent...bradycardia...arrhythmia..."

"Let's get him up!"

They lifted him with care onto a stretcher, and raced him to the waiting ambulance. 

Rossi said, "We'll follow in the car!"

Morgan got in the SUV beside Rossi, and Emily sat in the back with JJ. Rossi drove through the streets like a madman. He wanted to be there when Aaron was taken out and into the ER.

-0-0-0-

Spencer was starting to wake up. His eyes flickered open, and he turned his head. 

"He's awake!" One of the 'medics turned from Aaron, and sat by him.

"You're going to be fine, Spencer. You had an overdose of insulin, but your quick acting colleague gave you a drink, which saved you. When we get in, you will probably need to go to theatre to sort out your leg, but other than that and some cuts, you should make a full recovery."

Spencer wasn't really listening. He was trying to see what was happening on the other bed.

"Aaron? What about Aaron?"

"My colleagues are working on him now. I'm afraid he's in a bad way. We are doing everything we can."

Spencer sucked in his bottom lip. "He has to live!" he whispered. "He has to! I don't think I could carry on without him."He wiped a tear off his cheek.

The 'medic took Spencer's hand. "We'll do our best. Now relax." He turned away and rejoined his colleagues.

Spencer lay still on his back and stared at the ceiling. Aaron had to live. They had so much life ahead of them; so much to do together. He needed him.

_Aaron, wake up. Fight it, Babe, come on. I need you. We all need you. Just don't give up!_

-0-0-0-

Rossi drove in silence, the only visible sign of his inward turmoil was his grip on the steering wheel. Morgan had his head back on the head rest, the heels of his hands against his eyes, holding back the tears. Emily and JJ clung to each other in the back and cried. 

All Emily could thing was that this was her fault. They had lost someone they loved, and it was down to her. Her mind kept flashing back to when she had last spoken to Hotch, in the hospital dining room. She remembered the tilt of his head, the excited twinkle in his eyes when he heard something interesting, how he was always professional, always in control. 

"Oh Hotch, I'm so sorry!"

"It's ok, Em. You've got nothing to be sorry about." JJ hugged a little tighter.

"Why didn't I do something, JJ?" she sobbed. "All that torture and pain, now this, and I could have prevented it."

"Em, it isn't your fault!" JJ pulled back and held her face. "There was a crazy UnSub whose fault it is. Don't blame yourself. It is not your fault." 

JJ wiped tears away and pulled her close again.

They were arriving at the hospital. Rossi screeched the SUV into a 'no parking' zone and the four got out and ran to the ambulance bay. 

Aaron was brought out first, surrounded by 'medics. They rushed him past them and through the doors to the waiting arms of the doctors.

Then they went back for Spencer. He was sleeping now, after his hypo. He was taken through the same doors, and out of sight.

Rossi, Morgan, Prentiss and JJ stood looking at the doors.

"I don't want to be here again." said Emily quietly. "I cope with the job and all the horrible things we see, but sitting in there, waiting for..." She didn't finish her sentence, but she didn't need to. They all felt the same. Slowly, they walked round to the waiting room, each offering prayers to their own private deity.

They sat in the room, dry eyed and silent. Rossi got up and bought them all coffee, and they each sat looking ahead, waiting for news, clutching their cups in trembling hands. When the doctor came in, they all looked to him fearfully.

"Dr Reid?" Rossi stood up and extended his hand. 

"We're here for him." he said.

The doctor shook his hand and said, "You will be pleased to know that Dr Reid is stable, and is in theatre now having his leg set. Apart from a slight limp which will probably fade with time, we expect him to make a full recovery." He smiled at them. "Your quick thinking, giving him cola to drink, probably saved his life."

"And Aaron?" Rossi asked, afraid of the answer, but had to know.

"I am very sorry, but the news is not good. Mr Hotchner is very poorly. The drug he was given has paralysed his muscle system. He cannot breathe unaided, and we are concerned with his cardiac muscle. We have put him on temporary peritoneal dialysis, to help get rid of the toxin, but that doesn't always work. From here on in, it is palliative care. If you have a God, now is a good time to pray."

Emily fought for control. She needed to be professional now. "Can we see him?"

"He's in theatre now. Both his wrists are broken and needed strapping, but he has serious crushing injuries in the pelvic region. There is likely to be internal damage, and he may need hip replacements, depending on how serious the damage is. His head and facial injuries just needed stitches. We noticed that he had a recent dermal transplant. That also needs repair. I am afraid that's all I can tell you. He will be several hours in surgery. I'm sorry. The prognosis isn't good. As soon as I have news on either of you friends, I will come and let you know."

They sat back down again as the doctor left them. Rossi leaned forwards with his face in his hands. Morgan leaned back and stared at the ceiling, his eyes full of tears. Emily and JJ clung to each other. The only sound was of the girls quietly crying.


	13. Recovery

Chapter 13

Recovery

_**Johnny Cash said, "You can ask the people around me. I don't give up. I don't give up... and it's not out of frustration and desperation that I say I don't give up. I don't give up because I don't give up. I don't believe in it." **_

Gradually, Spencer woke up. He didn't know where he was, but he knew that lots of things hurt. He lifted his hands to his face, and they were bandaged, a drip going into one wrist. 

Hospital.

He lifted his head very slowly, and looked around. He was in a room by himself, with another empty bed. He looked down to his feet, one leg was plastered, and hanging in a sling. He lay back down. His head was throbbing, and his mouth was sore. He licked his lips and looked round for a bell to call someone. He needed to know where Aaron was

When the nurse arrived, he tried to sit up.

"Where's Aaron? I need to see him." He allowed the nurse to push him back down onto the pillows. "Is he alright? Can I see him?"

She tucked him in tightly in a 'stay right there' gesture. "I'll go and find out for you. What was the name?"

"Aaron Hotchner." As the nurse walked out, he added, "And please, let it be good news..."

-0-0-0-

Aaron was fighting for his life. Things were not going well in OR2. His pelvic area was open, and the top orthopaedic surgeon was trying to put his pelvic ring back together, while another was repairing the internal damage. 

The pump whirred in the background as the peritoneal fluid exchange aided his kidneys and liver to remove the toxin from his body. 

Another surgeon was placing pieces of newly repaired rib back where they should be.

"BP falling! He's going into Vfib!"

The abuse he had taken was too much; Aaron's heart gave up.

"Ready the paddles! Charge at 250!"

"Charged!"

"Clear!"

Aaron's battered body jumped on the table. The flat line continued to run across the 'scope.

"Charge 300, ready the adrenalin!"

"Charged!"

"Clear!"

Again, he moved in response to the charge, but still his heart didn't beat.

"Come ON! Hotchner, come on!" 

Aaron didn't move. Nothing.

"Are you going to call?"

"No. Not yet. Scalpel please."

Deftly, the cardiothoracic surgeon opened Aaron's chest cavity, cranking apart his ribs with a sternum spreader, to expose the fibrillating heart beneath.

"Internal paddles, charge at 20!"

"Charged."

The paddles were placed in his hands, and he pushed them into Aaron's chest. The slight buzz as the current passed directly through Aaron's heart.

"Again. 30!"

"Jeff, I think we should call." A hand on his arm. The surgeon shook him off. 

"I said, 30!"

"Charged."

Again, the current discharged.

"Adrenalin!" He injected the heart, and then, "Again! 30."

It seemed like an eternity passed, when the light on the scope jumped, and the stubborn heart in Aaron's chest began to beat. A loud cheer was raised in the OR, and some people watching from the gallery clapped in appreciation. Jeff Geiger smiled.

"I'll leave you to close." and the God of Cardiac Surgery once again lived up to his name.

A nurse was waiting in the scrub room for him. "How's it going, Sir?"

"Touch and go for a minute there, but he's back with us. For now at least. If he gets through this, he's got a fair chance. But it is going to take some time." He pulled of his scrubs and opened the bin with the foot pedal. "Why? Who's asking?"

"He has a friend in ortho. He's asking about him."

"Tell him we don't know yet. He should be out in an hour, and to ask again then." He shoved his soiled scrubs into the bin. "Tell him not to raise his hopes though. The man is very sick."

The nurse thanked him, and went back towards the lift. Dr Reid was not going to be happy with that answer. She wondered how she was going to tell him.

When she arrived back, Dr Reid had visitors. When he spotted her, he called to her.

"Did you find out about Aaron?"

Five concerned faces looked to her. "I'm afraid he's still in surgery. I have spoken to Dr Geiger, who worked on his heart. It will be an hour before he comes out, so we have to wait until then." She paused. "He is very ill. You must prepare yourselves."

She noticed that the two women at Spencer's bedside were crying. The men had been. Their eyes were red and tear filled.

"Don't tire the doctor out, now. He's had a nasty experience, and surgery. He really should be resting."

"I can't rest until I know about Aaron." said Spencer. He looked round at his colleagues; his friends; his family. "Don't go. I need you here."

Morgan sat down next to him. "We'll stay, one at a time."

The others nodded and left. Spencer needed his strength to recover, But he also needed his friends.

"Derek," Spencer took his hand. "You have a faith, don't you?"

Morgan nodded. "Yes, I do. Though it has been tested lately."

"Testing should make it stronger, though, shouldn't it?" Morgan nodded. "Please, ask your God to save Aaron. I need him to be saved. I cannot pray, but you can."

Morgan held tightly onto Spencer's hand, and bowed his head.

-0-0-0-

Emily, JJ and Rossi stood by the coffee machine. They looked tired and washed out. Emily bent down and retrieved her cup, and the three made their way back to the waiting area. No-one spoke. There didn't seem to be any words left. As they sat down, a doctor came over to them.

"Are you with Aaron Hotchner?"

They stood up again. "Yes!" Rossi said. "Do you have some news?"

"I just wanted to tell you that Mr Hotchner has survived the surgery, and is in recovery. He is still very poorly, and will be going into the HDU."

"When can we see him?" Emily asked.

"I'll come and find you when he's ready." He nodded briefly and left.

The women sat down again. 

"I'll go and tell Morgan and Reid." said Rossi, and made his way down the corridor.

They all felt a tremendous relief, but they also knew that this was only a step towards recovery, and it was still a long road.

Morgan lifted his bowed head when Rossi came into the room. 

"Have you got some news?" asked Spencer.

"He's out of surgery." Rossi said, "But he's still very ill. He's going into the HDU now. I don't know when we will be able to see him though. But so far, so good."

Tears of relief poured down Spencer's pale cheeks. His hand tightened on Morgan's.

"Tell Him thank you, from me." he said to Derek. 

"Tell Him yourself." Morgan answered, and a small tear broke away and slid down his cheek . 

-0-0-0-

A long way away, Aaron heard voices. They sounded as if they were filtering through a layer of concrete, and he couldn't always hear the words. But he knew whose voices they were. He could hear Spence. And his friends; he could hear them too. And someone was touching him, holding his hand. And a kiss. Someone kissed him. He would have liked to reach up and hold him, but he was too tired. Maybe tomorrow, he wouldn't feel so tired. He heard Spencer's voice close and clear.

"Come back to us, Aaron. We love you. I love you."

The voices stopped. There was another sound, machines beeping. Were they his machines? Keeping him alive? Thinking was making him tired. He slipped back to sleep.

Maybe tomorrow...

-0-0-0-

It was night time, and Spencer's room was lit dimly by the night light. He lay on his bed, his leg now flat, no longer in the harness. He had been to see Aaron earlier, and was still recovering from the shock. He looked so ill, white and lifeless. It had frightened him. He had held his hand, and kissed him, and spoken to him. He hoped that Aaron could hear him. 

He was going to see him tomorrow again. He wanted to stay during the night, but the doctors said he needed to rest himself. When he was better himself, then he could stay. 

He closed his eyes to sleep. Tomorrow, he would see him. For now, just dream.


	14. Awake and Still Asleep

Chapter 14

Awake and still asleep

Aaron felt someone holding his hand. In his mind, he smiled, because the person he loved was with him. Maybe today he would be able to open his eyes. He tried to speak but he still couldn't move. He tightened his grip on the hand. 

_I'm coming home, love. I'm coming back to you, Haley!_

Spencer felt Aaron's hand twitch in his. This time he was certain that he felt it. He had been sitting by his bed for weeks, hoping that he would wake up, wanting to feel any tiny movement.

The doctors had said there was brain activity, but his body just didn't want to come back.

But there was definitely a movement. The nurse who was looking after Aaron was tired of Reid calling her to say he was awake. She'd said not to call unless his eyes opened. 

Spencer leaned over and kissed him on the forehead.

"Ok, now, Aaron, you going to wake up?"

Spencer watched his eyes move. Just a flicker, as Aaron struggled to open them.

"Come on, Babe, open them! For me..."

Aaron could hear Reid clearly now. He felt a kiss, light, gentle.

_Reid? Reid, where is Haley. I need My Haley...Reid? Did you kiss me?..._

Aaron forced his eyes open. Reid was there, touching him, his hands on his hair. He tried to speak.

"Don't try to talk, Babe. You have a tube in your throat. You won't be able to speak yet." He smiled. "Welcome back."

_Haley! Get Haley!_

Aaron saw tears in Reid's eyes. He was holding his hand, crying.

_What's going on?_

Aaron tried to speak again. He needed to know whet was happening. He expected Haley to be at his bedside, she was always here beside him. He could remember her complaining that he was always in trouble and how she was always afraid for him. Had she left him? He felt a wave of fear and confusion wash over him. His head was hurting, he felt sick. He needed to speak. The sound he made was a choking gagging sound, no words. His body wouldn't move. He started to cry with fear and frustration, tears washing his face, a desperate keening wail coming from deep inside him.

Reid touched the tears. "It's ok, Babe. You're going to get better. "

Spencer buzzed for the nurse. This time he really was awake. He could see the fear in Aaron's eyes. Spence lovingly ran his fingers through Aaron's thick hair, leaned over and kissed him again.

"You're going to be just fine."

The nurse called Aaron's consultant, who was there in a flash. He sat by Aaron, and turned his face towards him.

"Aaron, do you know who I am?"

Aaron shook his head. His eyes seemed to be jumping, he was unable to focus his vision in his confused state.

"I am your doctor. My name is Danny. I am going to remove the tube in your throat. Now listen, this is important. There is a chance that your lungs won't be ready. If you cannot breathe, I will replace the tube. But it's nothing to be afraid of. Do you understand what I'm saying, Aaron?" 

Very slowly, Aaron nodded. Danny tilted Aaron's head back, and slid the tube out of Aaron's throat. Aaron gagged as it came out, Danny watched him carefully waiting for that first breath. Aaron concentrated on how to breathe. Then his chest rose, and air flowed unaided into his lungs. Then again...

"Well done, Aaron!" Danny said with a smile. "You're doing great. Now don't expect to be able to talk properly for a while, although you will probably be able to make yourself understood." With that, and a smile at Spencer, he left the room.

Spencer was beaming. He took Aaron's hand again. "I've waited too long to do this!" He leaned forwards to kiss his love on his mouth.

Aaron pulled back, eyes wide with amazement. 

"No!" he managed to croak. "Haley..."

Spencer backed away. "Haley? But...but she erm...Just a moment..." Spencer quickly ran out of the room. He closed the door behind him, and leaned against it.

_Haley? _

He saw Danny talking to one of the nurses. Spencer called to him and wiped the new tears away that were forming at the corners of his eyes. Danny turned and walked towards him.

"What's the problem?" he smiled.

"It's Aaron. He's asking for his wife."

"We can get her for him." Danny flicked through his notes. "But it says here he is divorced."

"He is. And his ex-wife is serving an indefinite term in a secure prison for attempting to murder him."

Danny's smile disappeared. He looked thoughtful. Spencer noticed the change in demeanour

"What is it, Danny?"

"I'm not sure. Let's go and see him."

Aaron was lying in bed, looking frightened. When he saw Danny, he started to try to speak.

"I want to...see my...wife!" He attempted to raise his hands, but he was still too weak.

"Aaron, may I ask you some questions?" Danny asked. Aaron nodded his head slowly.

"Do you know who this is?" indicating Spencer.

Aaron nodded his head "It's Spencer ...Reid. We... work together."

"Aaron, for the past two years you have been living together as a couple."

Aaron looked totally shocked. "Haley? W-what... happened to ...Haley?"

Danny looked to Spencer. "Would you explain? I'll stay here."

Spence sat down at Aaron's side, and reached for his hand. He hurt deep inside when Aaron moved his hand away.

"Aaron, Haley is in prison. Jack is living with her sister."

"Jack?" Aaron was getting distressed. "Why is she in prison? I need to help her!"

"Haley tried to kill you, Aaron. She very nearly succeeded. Jack is you little boy."

The shock on Aaron's face brought tears to Spencer's eyes. How he wanted to hold him, and kiss the fear away. He wanted to tell him that he loved him, he wanted to hear the words said back to him.

"You and me? T-together?"

Spencer nodded. "Two years ago, we were working a case together. The jet crashed, and we were stuck in the forest with the UnSub. We got close after that."

Aaron shook his head. "I c-can't ...remember." It looked to Spencer as if he was going to cry. 

"I'm just going to get a drink..." Spencer left the bedside and walked out of the room. He wanted to run away, get free of everything. But what he wanted was lying in a bed behind him. Where ever he went, it was going to take him further away from Aaron. He ran outside the hospital.

It was raining hard outside. He thought back to the time when he and Aaron had run in the rain, how thrilled Aaron had been, how their love had grown for each other. Tears streamed down his face. There was a low wall overlooking the garden. Spencer sat on the wall, stared up at the dark stormy sky and cried. The rain soaked him quickly, sticking his hair to his face. The tears became invisible mixed with the rain, but his grief stricken howling and crying could not go un-noticed. It was a while before he realised someone was sitting on the wall beside him. He turned to face her; a young nurse, hair wet and plastered down, her dress soaked through.

Spencer's words as he spoke to her were broken with sobs.

"Are y-you ok? You're s-soaked."

"You looked like you needed company. Would you like to get a hot drink and talk about it?"

Spencer allowed her to take his hand, and she led him back into the hospital. She opened a door close to the entrance, which led into a small staff sitting room.

"This room isn't used very much." she said, putting the kettle on. "Sit down, we won't get disturbed." As the kettle boiled, she switched on a heater, then she got two mugs ready. "Coffee ok? Sugar?"

Spencer nodded. He was shivering, wet through. "He's forgotten me." he sobbed.

She handed him a mug, and sat down opposite him. "Who has?"

Spencer poured out his heart to this woman whose name he didn't even know. He told her how much he loved Aaron, and how he felt he had lost him.

"I don't know how I am going to deal with this. I stayed by him, and we got through the time his wife tried to kill him. We did it together. Now he can't remember me. I don't know what to do."

She got a tissue out of a pack in her pocket and wiped his eyes with it. "Usually it's only temporary." she said. "The longer he is exposed to his life, the more he will remember. Sometimes it comes back all at once. It's a kind of defence mechanism. It's to forget the trauma. Often, though, it goes too far, and too much is forgotten." She held Spencer's hand with one of hers, and tilted his head up to face her with the other. "You mustn't give up on him. Think of it as his body's woken up, but his memories need a bit longer."

"What should I do?" Spencer was not crying so much now, but every few breaths were shuddering sobs. 

"The best thing is to just carry on as before. Take him home when he's well, show him photographs, let him meet people you both know. Just going home might trigger his memories."

Spencer finished the coffee and put the mug down. He stood up and bent down to her, and kissed her forehead.

"Thank you ..."

"Milly."

"Thank you Milly. I need to stay with him." He went quickly to the door, then turned back to her. "That's just what I needed."

She smiled and watched him run to the lift.

-0-0-0-

"_**Amnesia used to be my favourite word, but then I forgot it." ANON**_


	15. Life Passed

Chapter 15

Life Passed

Aaron lay still and stared into space. How had this happened?

Haley?

Haley tried to kill him?

But he loved her. Ok, he spent a lot of time at work, but she understood. She always kissed him goodbye, she was always waiting for him when he got home.

How had that changed?

And Jack? He had a son?

His life was out of control, going where he did not know and he couldn't deal with it. The one thing that defined him was control and orderliness. That had gone. Now his life had moved on without him, for years, and his existence had been without him. Aaron put his hands in his hair and taking two hands full, he pulled it until he felt it tear from his scalp. He closed his eyes trying to hold back the tears, but they flooded his face like a tide and wouldn't be stopped. He screamed at the ceiling and walls that were around him; screamed for something to make sense.

_Help me! Oh god, please, I think I'm going mad...please help me..._

As the racking sobs took him past his last vestige of his authority, the tearing hands on his hair relaxed, he rested a forearm across his eyes, and he cried.

_His father taught him not to cry. After his Dad beat him, if he cried, he would get another - 'I'll give you something to cry for boy!' Very early on he learned self control. Boys don't cry, it meant weakness, and no Hotchner could ever show weakness! So with weals and bruises across his back, and ringing in his ears, he didn't cry. He went off to school with a note saying he couldn't do swimming so no-one ever saw. But he never cried. He always kept control. He was never a pathetic weakling like his Dad said...until now_

In his dream the beating continued, and this time, Aaron cried...

And outside, the storm raged, reflecting the storm in his heart.

-0-0-0-

When Spencer got back to Aaron's room, he was sleeping. But it wasn't a peaceful sleep. Spencer could see that he was dreaming, and his face was awash with tears running from the corners of his eyes. His hands clenched and unclenched, twitched in fear and his eyes snapped too and fro beneath the tightly closed lids.

Spencer felt his stomach lurch in sympathy for him. He knew what it was like to be haunted by nightmares that couldn't be escaped. He sat beside him, longing to hold his hand. He laid a hand on top of Aaron's.

_Please, Babe, remember us..._

It was going to be a long time before he could come home, his injuries sustained in the explosion were serious, and it was going to take a lot of physio before he would be able to walk again, possibly he never would be able to without pain. Spencer's heart was breaking for him.

"Aaron, my Darling, I wish there was something I could do to help you remember..."

Very gently, Spencer touched Aaron's trembling lips. Softly he ran his finger across the familiar contours, and wished he could touch his own lips to them He could see the distress Aaron was in, and longed to help him, but he couldn't. Spencer cried for a lost love. He could see him, hear him, touch him, but the love had died in that cold damp basement. Spencer rested his head on Aaron's bed by his hands, and his tears soaked the covers.

When the nurse came in an hour later, both men were asleep. She smiled and turned the light down for the night.

-0-0-0-

Early the next morning, Spencer left the hospital, and flew home. He needed to collect his photographs he had of their time together. As he flicked through the pile of pictures that had never found their way into an album, he smiled, remembering some of the things they had done together. There was the time that he had gone on a fishing trip with Aaron, in the days before their friendship had developed into a deep love. He looked at the photo Aaron had taken of him hanging in the tree. Aaron had written on the back, 'Spence moves sloth like along the branch.'  
There was one of the tree where they had carved each other's names. That had been a good day until Aaron managed to break his ankle! He smiled to himself. They had even laughed about it. He had said at the time that they would never forget that day. Fresh tears sprang to his eyes at the memory.

He quickly gathered up the photo's and put them in his bag.

_Please, let there be something here that will jog a memory..._

He was back at Aaron's side by dusk.

This time he was awake, staring at the ceiling with tear filled eyes.

"Hi Aaron, how are you feeling?" Spencer was still limping from the break he sustained in his shin. It was starting to throb now from all the rushing around. He sat down by Aaron, and resisted the temptation to take his hand. Aaron turned his head to face Spencer.

"I'm ok."

Spencer's heart went out to him. "I've brought some photo's for you. Some of the things we've done."

Aaron reached up for the handle hanging above his bed, and pulled himself up. Spencer pushed the pillows into a comfortable position for him. Aaron settled back, and Spencer gave him the pictures one at a time, explaining about the day, and why it was important to them. Aaron looked closely at them, although in his confusion, he wasn't sure that he wanted to remember losing Haley. In his heart, he thought he still loved her.

When he had seen them all, he handed them back to Spencer.

"Did you recognise anything?" Spencer asked. Aaron shook his head and lowered himself back down on the bed.

"Nothing." he said. "Although it looks as if we had some fun!"

Spencer smiled. "Yeah, we did."

"I'm tired now, Reid." ha said. "I need to sleep."

"Ok, Aaron." Spencer was disappointed. "I'll call on you later." He left the photo's on the table next to the bed and left.

-0-0-0-

"It's early days, kiddo. Be patient."

"I don't know how to deal with this, Morgan. This is totally new for me. 42.5 percent of people with Post Traumatic Amnesia take more than 4 weeks to recover, some never do, and have to start again from where they left off." Spencer was rambling. "Morgan, help me..."

"Hey Genius. Don't worry!" Morgan tried to make light of it, but inside he was devastated by what had happened. "You fell in love before, you can again! And four weeks isn't so long, and 58 percent recover before four weeks!"

"57.5"

"Sorry?"

"57.5 recover before four weeks. I will try to be optimistic, Derek. Thank you."

Spencer sat in the hospital corridor staring at the phone. He leaned his head back on the wall, and tried not to think of life with Aaron, but without his love. Silent tears fell from lonely eyes.

-0-0-0-

Aaron did feel better after looking at the pictures. Life with Spencer did look like fun. He couldn't imagine walking in the rain just for the hell of it, or carving Spencer's name on a tree, but clearly he had done those things.

He had never looked at Spencer in that way before, but when he really considered it, it wasn't that bad. He was a nice kid. He reached for the photo's and went through them again. He looked at the faces, the background, every aspect of them, closing his eyes and trying to imagine being there. He threw them down in frustration. He reached out and rang the bell for the nurse. After a minute or so, she popped her head round the door.

"Is Dr Reid still here?" he asked.

"I'll go check." she smiled.

"If he's here, would you ask him to come back? I have an idea."

She gave him her best 'you-really-are-gorgeous' smile and left. Five minutes later, Spence came back in.

"You ok, Aaron?" Spencer asked worriedly. "Don't you need..."

Aaron cut him off. "Spencer, come here. I want to try something.

Frowning, Spencer went up to Aaron. Holding his head on the side, his hair falling across his eyes, he looked askance at him. "What do you want to try?"

Aaron reached across and put a hand behind Spencer's head, fingers pushed through his hair. He pulled Spencer forward, and caught his chin in his other hand. Softly he brushed his lips against Spencer's, and drew away slightly. Spencer pulled him back and kissed him, Aaron kissed him back. Spencer felt new tears, something special was happening. He drew away far enough to be able to see him. Aaron's eyes were closed, and his mouth slightly open.

"Aaron, I love you so much. Please remember, please!"

Aaron drew Spence close, and they embraced each other, their faces in each other's hair, each breathing in the other's beautiful scent, each shedding silent tears for the other.

Aaron pressed his face close to Spencer, feeling his love, and feeling overwhelmed by its strength.

_I am going to love you, Spence. I will make this right for us, Sweets... _

-0-0-0-

_**Eagle Eye Cherry sang, "I'm falling in love again, ain't nothing I can do, Falling in love again!"**_


	16. Crying and Laughing

Chapter 16

Crying and Laughing

"_**This is my wish for you: Comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits sag, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, Love to complete your life."**__** - L**__**ynnie Buttercup**_

Spencer was electrified by the kiss, he couldn't stop shaking. Instinctively, Aaron rocked him in his arms, amazed at how comfortable he felt with Spencer. It felt right, but even that he found difficult to comprehend.

Slowly he released Spencer, who drew away and looked at him.

"It's ok, Aaron. Things will come back, I know and they will." He touched Aaron's lips, and the power shot through him again. Aaron sighed, his breath shaky. He took Spencer's other hand and held it with both his, pressed against his chest.

"Just give me time, Spence. I want to make it right." He lowered his head and closed his dark eyes. "I understand in my mind that it's over between Haley and me, but my heart is so confused."

"It's ok, Aaron, I understand." Softly, Spencer touched a tear on Aaron's cheek. "I will be there for you when ever you need me."

"You're a good man, Spence." Aaron lay back on the bed and closed his eyes, "I think that even if I don't remember, I could easily fall in love with you again." His voice became softer as, still clinging onto Spencer's hand, he drifted off to sleep.

Spencer didn't want to break the contact, so stayed there by his bedside. He felt so much more positive now, he saw that Aaron truly wanted to remember, but he knew also that he was struggling with loss of Haley. To him, it had only just happened, and Spencer could remember how devastated he had been the first time. It was going to be harder this time, because this time, she hadn't just abandoned him, she had tried to murder him. His heart ached for him.

Spencer rested his head on the bed and closed his eyes.

-0-0-0-

_...Aaron arrived home from work a little late, but Haley wouldn't mind, It was only an hour or so and she was standing at the kitchen sink, looking out of the window into the garden and it looked lovely in the moonlight, silvery outlines of the trees, soft delicate shadow and he slipped his arms around her waist and nuzzled into her neck, and she turned round to face him and It wasn't Haley, the face was pure evil and glowing with hatred..."You are late again"...and her hand became a knife and it entered his body at the sternum and slid down to his groin, eviscerating him, and she slipped out of his arms like water and he tried to stop his insides from sliding out of his body but his fingers couldn't hold them and he collapsed onto his knees and looked up at the sky and screamed and his hands were slippery with blood and his intestines hung from his fingers..._

Spencer woke at Aaron's unearthly scream that tore through the ward, bringing the nurse running to his side. Aaron was clawing at his body, eyes still closed, writhing and crying, gripped in a terrible nightmare. Spencer gently shook him awake, and his eyes snapped open. For a moment he stared unseeing, shaking in fear, then Spencer took him in his arms and spoke tender words.

"Aaron, it was a dream, Babe. It's gone now, you're safe..."

Aaron clung to him, and sobbed on his shoulder, his tears wetting Spencer's hair. Spencer soothingly stroked Aaron's back and held his head against him, rocking him, his heart bleeding for him.

-0-0-0-

The following day, there was good news for Aaron. The toxin level in his blood had dropped to the level of a twenty a day smoker, and the peritoneal dialysis was going to be terminated.

"This means you can get up and walk around, get your strength back." he said. "And we need to have a chat about you going home."

Aaron suddenly realised that he didn't know where 'home' was. He felt the stress rising up again, and the now familiar feeling of panic.

"I will send a nurse round to remove the tubes," the doctor continued, "and maybe stitch the wounds if they need it."

Aaron nodded without really listening. He was going home...and he was terrified. He felt his chest tighten and he was hyperventilating.

_Oh god, no! I want to stay here! Please, let me stay here..._

He wanted to ask the doctor a question, but he was already leaving the room, leaving him alone. Spencer had gone back to the hotel where he was officially staying, (although as yet, he'd not spent a night there) to take a shower. He wouldn't be back for an hour at least.

The panic took him over and he tried to curl up, and his vision became dotted with black stars. With a great effort, he forced his breathing to slow down, and gradually, the panic subsided before it could incapacitate him. He lay back on the bed, regaining control, and he knew he was crying again. He feared he would never again be the man he used to be. He wanted Spencer back.

He thought about some of the UnSubs he had faced, a garrotte around his neck, a gun pointing at his head, yet nothing had frightened him like this was. He gripped handfuls of the sheet he was lying on, trying to staunch the tears

So this was it. Home. He knew Spencer would be excited. Aaron wished he would be back soon.

A nurse came into his room. "The Doctor has said I can take you off dialysis now, Aaron." She smiled at him. "Are you ok? You look upset."

"N-no, I'm fine." he answered, unwilling to share his fears. He watched as she turned off the pump, and detached the tubes from his abdomen.

"This might hurt a bit." she said. "One of the tubes ends in a T-piece, and it could pull."

The first tube slid out easily, but true to her word, the second one felt as if it was pulling his insides out. It felt like his dream and he arched his back off the bed, his hands grabbing at the tube. She pulled it out, and Aaron cried out as the dream hit him and he remembered Haley. And he realised that it was Spence he needed.

She gently wiped the sweat from his forehead, and gave him a drink. "It's over, Sweetheart. I am so sorry that it hurt."

Aaron looked at her. "It's alright." he said softly. She passed him a tissue and he wiped his tear stained face. "I'm ok now." He gave her a shaky smile, and she gathered the equipment, and left him.

-0-0-0-

When Spencer returned, and came back to Aaron's room, Aaron didn't say a word; he just felt his heart jump in his chest. He reached out his arms to him, and Spencer took him in his arms and held him close. Aaron relaxed against him, his head on his shoulder, one hand combed into his hair, the other around his back. Spencer returned the gesture, loving the feel of his warmth and the tremble of his body. He felt Aaron's hair between his fingers and the strong muscles in his back. And this wasn't an experiment; this was for real. Spencer turned his head, and kissed Aaron's neck, feeling the shudder pass through him.

"Spence," Aaron breathed. "I'm falling for you. I think I love you."

Spencer clung to him. He never wanted to let go.

Aaron pulled back. "I can go home soon, Spence. Is that ok? Will that be alright?"

Spencer stared at him in amazement. "Alright? Oh Babe, of course it will be alright. Once you are home, you will get better so much quicker."

Aaron was holding Spencer's upper arms, a subconscious gesture, as if he was afraid Spencer would run away. "Spence, I don't even know what 'home' looks like."

Spencer's face creased into a happy smile. "Oh Aaron, you will love it!" Spencer went on to tell Aaron about the little castle they had bought; the wild flowers in the tangled garden, the bedroom with the doors onto the balcony, the kitchen overlooking the terrace. "Only we don't use the kitchen."

"Why not?"

Spencer laughed, thinking about Aaron's 'cooking'.

"We usually eat out. And your cooking could be used as a weapon of mass destruction." He touched Aaron's face. "Saying it's awful would be an understatement. Deadly, I think, is more apt!"

"Oh."

"But you are allowed to touch the espresso machine!"

Aaron laughed, and pulled him close again. As he held him tight against his chest, he started to look forward to seeing the house. If Spencer said he would love it, then very likely he would.


	17. Walking and Waking

Chapter 17

Walking and Waking

"Today you have to get out of bed, Aaron, if you want to go home on Friday!"

Aaron looked with fear at the walking frame that she had put by the bed for him. His legs felt like they were made of wood, and he couldn't imagine being able to walk again. He looked at the nurse with scared eyes.

"Come on now, Aaron. Let's show Spencer how much you've progressed!"

Aaron didn't like being patronised. He pushed the covers back, and eased his legs over the side of the bed, using his hands to move them. He looked with horror at his legs. They were stick thin, and white.

_Oh god! I've got legs like Spencer!_

He saw a picture in his mind's eye of Spence in a garden, lying in the sun, wearing shorts and huge shades, and legs white and skinny, and it occurred to him that this was a memory.

"I've just had a new memory!" he said excitedly.

"Hey! That's wonderful!" she enthused. "What made you remember?"

"I was thinking how white and skinny my legs are, and I thought they are like Spencer's!" He grinned. "Don't tell him I told you though, will you?"

She laughed. "Ok, now let's get you walking, Aaron, and you will have two things to tell him!"

He wriggled forwards until he was almost off the bed, leaned forwards and grabbed at the walker. The nurse helped him to stand up, and he gritted his teeth and leaned on the walker. As his weight was taken by his legs, the pain shot through his hips, making his eyes water. He rested his forehead on the bar he was holding, and groaned.

"Oh that really hurts." he said, more to himself than anyone.

"It will, at first. Remember these muscles haven't been used for weeks. You have to build up your strength. Now straighten up, and take a step."

He slid one foot forward, then pushed the frame along. Then he slid the other foot up to the first.

"There! That wasn't so hard, was it?"

He scowled at her.

Aaron had managed to walk the length of the bed when Spencer arrived.

"Hey Babe! That's great!" he enthused. Aaron looked at him and tried to smile.

"I've got ...s-something to ...tell you, Spence." he panted "When I'm ...back in bed!"

Aaron turned to the nurse, sweat running down his face. "Can't go...any more." He clung to the bar as his knees gave way. "H-help!"

-0-0-0-

"So what's this you have to tell me then?" Spencer said, as soon as Aaron back in bed.

"Kiss first, news after!" smiled Aaron.

Spencer grinned that lips-together grin. He leaned forward and pecked Aaron on the cheek.

"Call that a kiss?" Aaron yelled, and grabbed him round the neck and pulled him close. "I want a real kiss!"

Aaron moved his hands from Spencer's neck to hold Spencer's face and kissed his lips. Spencer returned the kiss, holding tightly onto him. Then they held each other, resting heads on each other's shoulders.

"I'm starting to remember." Aaron whispered. "I had an image of you sitting in the sun with shorts and shades." He pulled away, and looked at Spencer. "Are your legs really that skinny?"

Spencer laughed. "'fraid so, Babe!"

Aaron hugged him again. "So are mine!"

-0-0-0-

Spencer stopped the car outside the 'Castle'.

"Do you like it?" he asked.

Aaron had opened the car door and was staring in amazement. "Spence, it's beautiful! And familiar!"

Spencer beamed. "Let's get you indoors." He came round to the other side of the car, and handed Aaron the crutches from the back seat. Aaron stood unsteadily, staring at the house. Spencer went and unlocked the door, and came back for Aaron, who was still staring.

"I know this place." he said softly. He pointed to a window. "That's our bedroom...isn't it?"

Spencer wanted to embrace him there on the drive, but knew Aaron would likely fall over if Spence unbalanced him.

"Yes. It is. Shall we look at it from the inside?"

Aaron walked carefully to the door, and into the hall. "Spence, I remember! I remember!" He had tears running down his face. "I remember this place!" He turned to Spence. "I remember you."

Spencer couldn't wait now. He led Aaron to the couch and embraced him. He couldn't think of the words to say, so he kissed Aaron's lips and face. Aaron moaned and trembled.

"Ahh ...Spence...I love you! I remember loving you...I love remembering you!...ahh!"

Sighing, he tilted his head back and Spencer brushed his lips softly across his neck, delighting in Aaron's helplessness at his touch. Aaron shivered as Spencer kissed his hair and ran a finger from his lips down to his top button. Slowly, without stopping the kisses, he unbuttoned Aaron's shirt and held his chest and he caressed his muscular body. He pulled Aaron's face down to meet his, and kissed salty tears away from his cheeks and eyes.

"Don't cry, Babe. Everything's good." Spencer whispered to Aaron, as Aaron melted in his arms, helpless against him.

Aaron laid back on the couch, eyes closed, lips apart, arms thrown outwards. His breaths came as sighs, his heartbeats shaking his whole body. Spencer knelt on the floor next to him, running his long fingers through his hair, tracing the familiar contours of his face and lips with his fingers. Aaron reached up and took his hand in both of his, and kissed his finger tips, pressed the back of Spencer's hand against his face.

"Oh Spence, Sweetheart ..." Aaron had no words to describe what he was feeling. "Spence! ... I love you so much."

Spence kissed Aaron on the nose. "I need a drink, Love. What would you like?"

"Scotch with or without rocks." he breathed.

"Me too. Won't be a minute." Spencer was so happy. He had thought Aaron was going to love him anyway, but having him back home with all those memories intact was wonderful. He poured the drinks, shaking so much, the bottle clanked on the glass. He turned back to Aaron, who was still lying on the couch with a dreamy look in his eyes.

"I am going to take these upstairs, Babe, then I'm going to come back down and get you."

Aaron tilted his head to Spencer. "Stairs?"

"You can do it!" Spencer said happily, running up the stairs with the drinks.

Aaron painfully twisted round and sat on the couch and waited.

Stairs? He'd not done stairs yet.

Spencer came bounding down the stairs and across to Aaron, like an excited puppy. He handed Aaron the crutches.

Spencer helped him to his feet, and with his arm around Aaron's waist, helped him to the bottom of the stairs.

"I'm not sure I..."

"Yes you can! You are an FBI Supervisory Special Agent. Of course you can manage stairs!"

Aaron smiled and shook his head. "I'll go up backwards!" he said, turning around and dropping his crutches.

So one step at a time, and climbed the stairs sitting down, while Spencer followed him up. Soon, with a bit of help, he was sitting on the bed.

"I love this room." he said with a sigh. Spencer opened the doors onto the balcony, and the warm breeze gently billowed the white curtains. Then he turned to Aaron. He finished undoing Aaron's shirt, and slipped it off his arms. Then he undid his belt, and zip. Aaron kicked off his shoes and lay down. Spencer got hold of Aaron's trousers by the ankles and whipped them off with a flourish, giggling, tilting his head to the side in that coy seductive way of his.Then he turned the cover back, and Aaron rolled over into the bed. Spencer removed his clothes, and slipped into bed next to him.

For a few moments, they lay there together, side by side, hands held in a tight grasp, just enjoying the peace and closeness. Then Aaron turned on his side, and gently nuzzled into Spencer's neck.

"Spence, thank you for being there." Aaron kissed him.

Spencer didn't say a word. He wasn't capable of speech as he breathed in pheromones and trembled in Aaron's arms.

-0-0-0-

_**All the pictures that hung in my memory before I knew you have faded and given place to our radiant moments together. Now I cannot live apart from you...Your words are my food, your breath my wine. You are everything to me. -Sarah Bernhardt**_

**END**


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